Posting coz: Emo. And Itchy fingers and eyes stung to shutness by watching too much I Live in Cheongdam-Dong (I'm at ep59, ie another 20+ eps since days ago, and meanwhile I saw Beckham in the flesh, drank too much beer, flirted with some ChelseaFC cute young boys, bbq partied twice (argh), ran 3 miles, watched Euro cup…witness my decay into a subhuman.) DARN u tuduo playlist for automatically playing next ep without even a flick of my beyond tired and cramped fingers just when I'm fighting mightily against my eternal dilemma of One More Ep! and
genius!me suddenly thought reading some TTSS and rewatching WKW's Happy Together (1997) at night, with a heavy heavy heavy heart and lots of sobs will alleviate ANY of my body irrevocably quitting me.
As a good socialist, I'm going where the money is; as a good capitalist, I'm sticking with the revolution, because if you can't beat it, spy on it! …It's the name of the game these days, you scratch my conscience, I drive your Jag, right? -Roy Bland. (John Le Carré, Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy) The world they lived in.
Reading TTSS, I never wanna be there in the stifling decay. A dense grey fog of conscience, seeing the filth u r inhaling with no way out. The rotten disillusionment so suffocating and seeped in. Be a soft fool? A moral cynic ceasing to care? Witnessing what my hometown is going through last 15 years, it's 15th anniversary of Return. Hitting too close to home. 15 years, Smiley and Karla.
Curiously I parallel Smiley with HKG so very often while reading him throughout Le Carré, maybe that's why I have a soft spot for him even with he's being the frustrating 'soft fool' he was, not putting up enough of a fight, jeopardizing ideals and ppl with sworn loyalty to him. But did he have choices in the milieu? How can I win? Smiley asks himself, alone, restrained by doubt and a sense of decency–how can any of us–against this remorseless fusillade?
2003.7.1 I was one of the 500,000. It was an entraordinarily peaceful protest, defending our civil liberties. Peaceful, civil, not saying in the least comfortable. I remembered I was trying to lure myself into the optimism of, 'this is a secular history making event. ' It could not, should not be an institution, a 'tradition', because 500,000 people forming an orderly 2 mile moving/stalling protest for hours in 30+C, insufferable humidity was a miracle, a very scary miracle. Murphy's Law. In the back of my cynical mind I knew the hours I experienced in flesh back then, would happen all over again and again and again….9 years later. Bittersweet, mostly bitter, but I can feel the verve of hope. The little consolation is the people still have the 'freedom' no matter the direr and direr obstacles. But things r certainly in a downward spiral. In 2003, we got top hated officials' resignations. In 2012, I bet each of the 400,000 crowd can feel the futility and urgency in enjoying the 'last hurray'.
I feel bad for the policemen on duty, still amazed aside from reports of heat strokes and exhaustion, no one is injured because of the demonstration.
This, they call 'democratic election', the rest of us call it sth else. Citizens r disgruntled past boiling point because the past 'elected officials/appointees' thus far have been doing nth while society deteriorated beyond savage, esp human rights and civil liberties, fulfilling all the brown-nosing in their one and only job description fr their bosses up north, or downright looting bribes, monetary gains left and right (the just stepped down Mr. Tsang) It'll be an easier bitter pill to swallow if this just sworn in chief was not caught red-handed lying through his teeth most ridiculously with his every other comment. More on Mr. Leung.
But then why is my hometown so preciously beautiful in my eyes, still?!?! The irony, the dichotomy, the depressing melancholy of a dying city and the undying hope of its people still fighting for ideology in HK of all places. Livid, civil demonstrators to the background of fireworks and jubilation. To quote Roy Bland: Well…. And I'm definitely functioning.… "An artist is a bloke who can hold two fundamentally opposing views and still function." Who dreamed that one up?
10 ft waterfilled barricades
None of the pics fr weibo, my fav playground. Posting any pics fr HK ip addy today is not censored per se, you can still post it, but u r the only one in the world not walled fr seeing it.