Watching (crap) now: Magic Blade

I’m only at ep3, and I CAN’T Stop streaming it fr here.  bilibili is the most trusted PoSs savior.  Sorry I have no idea of subs as always.

This is pure organic glorious crap, GuLong is wailing and twisting and turning like a Fu HongShui during his bouts of seizures, but I’m pretty sure if he had a bottle of whisky in his system, he won’t be able to look away, it’s the most entertaining spoof of Wuxia x Fauxcest x SLASH(Plot? What Plot?!).  If u have a sickly craving for the explosive fireworks of these 3 tropes, welcome abroad this gay cruise, this is so made fr your id.  EVERY single line uttered by the boys r so slashy I am going, ‘did I just hear what I hear?!?!’ out loud, to myself. Every line is like penned by Stephen Chow writing Slash fanfic.  It’s kinda a nostalgic drinking game for me atm: visible unNewtonian wire-fu (ie the bestest and most entertaining kind) Check!, so crappy it’s cute!funny CGIs, OhCHECK!, grey wholeeyelid-ful eyeshadow on guys in EVERY TVB 80s wuxia, OHLALACHECK!

A tiny bit of background (although I have only skimmed the novel and that’s ~20 yrs ago) on the 2 titular titillating boys:

1. 傅紅雪/Fu HongXue (weiboers nicking him Snowy) is arguably the saddest angstiest of wuxia hero EVER.  He is a cripple *haha not here in a not-much-is-canon-nor-holy spoof*, whenever he’s emo, he’ll have an epileptic seizure/ wuxiaSuperSaiyan mode; raised by a Demon sect Princess ‘mom’ who has been mentally and physically torturing him, so that he’ll grow up to be a functional cold assassin since he’s a kid AND still is whipping him even though he’s now the #1 Swordsman in le Jiangwu.  Donning his fresh and old emotional and physically scars, he’s brainwashed with darkness, hate and the doctrine to revenge his dead parents. His motto is: I kill therefore I live.

2. 葉開/ Ye Kai (Leafy) is as polar opposite fr FHX, perfect for opposite attracts OTPness.  Whereas the powess of Snowy is rooted in dark angsty hatred and revenge, his is out of LOVE.  With a sunny disposition in life and a busybody without much of the angsty baggage being the star apprentice of the legendary Xiao Li Fly Dagger, he picks up wuxia because he just feels like it, or gets him the glossy things in life.  He nudges himself squarely into the darkness around FHX and becomes his light/angel.  Yup, and that’s the longing lovely glances he throws Snowy’s way EVERY FREAKEN SCENE!  He’s also there constantly to save the damsel/his OTP whenever Snowy is bleedy.  Again at ep3, Snowy has bleed out every drop of his own blood, I swear!

The girls?  I bet they r there simply to get by the censors.  Thus far we have one so annoying and sure of her own ‘out of this world beauty’ to get any man, she’s flirting our angsty hero after a 10000 taels of gold bet fr our jokester Leafy, who knows sooo much better *kekeke*.  Then when angsty hero disrobed the annoying girl to suck poison out of her SHOULDER she is all over him whiny to ‘take responsibility’ whereby our hero disrobes and goes topless to ‘get even’ MUAHAHAHA.  Girl, if you haven’t got gaydar yet, get it, and use it.  It’s useful, he’s not that into you ie our sex in general.

Ep2 has our Leafy in drag all ep long just to get away fr ppl fr le Jiangwu after his honorary title of ‘The Best flying hidden weaponry’ and Baron is PREETTTY!

Once again, presenting our OTP.

I’ve never ever seen sth so blatantly slashy in wuxia ever, even for a GuLong.  Have a Red+Leaf MV:

In 2 gifs?

21 thoughts on “Watching (crap) now: Magic Blade

  1. YEKAI!!!

    I think i can’t dropped this crap because of Yekai! I watched it honestly for Wallace, but damn he doesn’t appeal to me here, other than when his with Yekai.

    And damn they should kick the girls out of the show. I thought Zhouting was annoying at first, but gosh, more annoying girls appeared.

    The part where nangong ling said she’s pregnant… and he was like 不可能。不可能。。。。 不可能。。吧?This part owned me. He actually doubted LMAO!

    1. Re: YEKAI!!!

      oh, watching it on that streaming site is the KEY. I had to usu pause 4, 5 times each ep to grasp for air fr lolzing by the witty most hilarious comments of the slashyfangirls.

      Baron is a revelation. Despite the WTFness of everything around him he’s actually a decent YeKai!!! He’s always been in the alright looking but sth’s off on screen, and acting is always fluctuating btn wood/spastic which is fine in a silly TWdrama. I’ve always thought he’s so out of place in a period, esp a wuxia.

      Oh, yeah, argh! I’ve met MYX. All I can do is regressed to the shallow end of my brain, nagging in my head to the talentless starlets: PS is so not the way. Now y’all are looking like a Yuan ShanShan. I’m not sure how old she is, since she’s the walking model of too much PS really makes a person looks ‘ageless’ in the worst way. I’m not saying Wallace is a spring chicken (gosh what horrible makeup and hair and everything!) But she can totally be his Demon sect princess Mom.

      Most of all I’m just shocked Louis Cha will let PD Lai touches any of his works after his Utter PoC Heaven Sabre Dragon Sword. It was again shockingly ‘fun’ to watch how he can mess up everything unimaginable in pace/narration…everything. Here the girls have immediately having babies and asking for marriage like nymphomaniacs and we’re missing 20 eps easy in btn it seems. It’s amazingly horrible.

  2. Hahaha u (or the show maybe?) are hilarious!
    But thanks anyway for the “recommendation”, will definitely have a peek when I’m done with my work (:

    1. It’s definitely the SHOW!!! haha if u r looking for The crown jewel of so crappy it’s fantastic drama, nth is gonna touch this by a mile.

      But do watch it on some streaming site where the witty snarky fangirls can comment like crazy. This is so not a show you should pay attention for real, it’ll kill braincells. Virtually experiencing it w/ the netizens makes u appreciate the innovation of interactive media enjoyment on a whole diff level!

      1. Thanks for the heads up!
        Haha yeah man the C-fans are super snarky & I often LOL at their witty comments about everything too 😉

    1. his makeup consisted of orange faketan and grey ash/soot on eyelids and at times face. I’m in shocked and lost for words how horrible Wallace is capable of looking here. (even though I’m never a fan since forever, he’s never been buggy). I’m surprised Baron can brave it all and looks his cutest imo here.

  3. The first picture had me lol-ing like mad already. I’m in a drama slump and haven’t felt like watching anything of late but this looks good for some laughs!

    1. This is lulz inducing on the slashy lines alone! ^^ but the brilliance is really in the witty snark it sparked in the slashymania. haha the fandom actually makes me have hope in humankind in a twisted way.

      I’m assuming you can read Chinese? This is a cut of the most lolz ‘awesomest’ scenes of the OTP. ALL real lines fr drama, no YY.

      1. HAHAHAHA. I’m so glad I have not read the novel and can enjoy this ‘adaptation’ in all its crack-tastic glory. I had to pause during HongYe’s first meeting to let the lulz out of my system ‘cos it was like the perfect first meeting for a wuxia OTP! And I agree, the netizens’ comments are gold. -> 叶开甘愿做小三,这个暑假我又相信爱情了 *dies laughing*

          1. lol, I hope I last till then! I’m only on ep3 and I already find myself facepalm-ing every 5 min. I don’t really care for Snowy and both his girls annoy me but thank goodness for Leafy! I shall persevere for the sake of this real OTP. XD

          2. 我的妈呀,真正的三角恋是傅红雪x叶开x燕南飞吗?? XDDDD Sorry for spamming, so much I want to mock and squee about this show as I watch it. Haaa, maybe I should do liveblogging posts instead.

            1. OH PLZ DO LIVEBLOG!

              haha yes it’s so crappy I can’t believe it BUT Leafy will always say the darnest OMFG lines. I’m only at 6, didnt have time to go on, and I’m kinda thinking I will skip to 27 (that cap) just to experience the mindnumbing silliness!

    1. I’m avoiding to talk about XYJ because my opinion will be extremely devastating/annoying to the fangirls. I watched an ep of XYJ and I’m very very bored, and annoyed and pissed off and I dozed off for real a few times. Yes, I’m crazily marathoning a 170+ eps Kdrama daily atm so I’m seriously lack of sleep my own fault but I also watched MB under the same condition but I was loling in its awfulness every line. At least MB didn’t pretend to be anything BUT entertaining crap.

      tbh I think both are extremely awful quality-wise, but Baron Chen, whom I kinda can’t stand prior is pourin his heart into the crap. At least MB is a silly fart that’s not taking itself serious at all, it sets itself up to do one thing, spoof on wuxia and Slash and is hilarious at it. I dun see anyone in the cast of XYJ really doing anything to elevate the crap. I was seriously looking forward to it but why is my impression TR is regressing? my impression after one ep is XYJ is easily the most disappointingly awful drama fr TR ever. Everything looks cheapo and half-assed thrown together. HOW on earth can the CGIs be worst than 6, 7, 8 yrs before?! I’m not expecting much, but it’s ridiculously horrible and only pissing me off as in K (and HG coz he’s the producer) is pulling this one out of their arses, AND lying through their teeth to HG’s gullible hardcore fangirls this is of any quality. I’m so disappointed with both HG and LSS on their perf, both positing themselves as horrible and overrated actors. They are posing and overacting yet totally not delivering anything. JJF has no screen presence AT ALL. My only hope is TangYan, but I didn’t last till her appearance.

      BUT yeah, it kinda breaks my heart a bit this TR latest and stinkiest PoS will mark me dropping of the fanwagon of HG and LSS forever maybe. I still like them as real people, but nth else.

      1. haha, I’m also watching long K-dramas nightly as well; Pure Pumpkin Flower. Those really long ones where some character could have done this and that which would have cut the drama down by 75%. lol STILL, it’s more watchable and tolerable. What’s up with these recent c-Dramas? I actually had my expectation high, thinking that FINALLY our China also will be producing ravable dramas. I guess it’s still ravable (about how bad it is?)

        I’m so anticipating the upcoming DGSD 201X and ROCH 201X. They’ll be interesting for sure.

        1. Chancy, oh, u can take K daily as well? I usu can’t I have the attention span of a goldfish, you have to watch I Live in Cheongdam Dong. MUST! I’ve never ever seen sth as GOLD every single ep, increasingly so. All I’m doing most of the day is squeeing and watching that, abandoning LIFE.

          I’m on ep105 and that is in less than 3 wks. It’s not like I can stop for a second.

          1. haha no. I just have a bigger tolerance for dramas that broadcast on my tv. I paid money for the channels after all. If it’s a drama I select to watch online I probably have a goldfish attention span as well. There are some k-dailies that are pretty addicting and some that are very memorable. Do you watch them with subs? I only watch the k dailies dubbed. SkylinkTV has pretty good dubs. The only k daily that I watched with subs would be Family Honor, had a Park Shi Hoo frenzy for awhile and marathoned through almost all of his dramas in a series of months.

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