In which relationships get more complicated…as in we need to put a definition on it and brace for the bumps. And things are given away as token of feelings: hand, rings, coffees, an angsty heart, a red tie and care boxes and packages placed in the upper compartment by a Dad.
I teared up whenever Mom and Dad are on, even when they are being their hilarious selves measuring out SW’s soon to be vacated room, I cried. Like every Dad, he’ll try to appear normal with their bickering chatter but…gahhh! I lost it with the bus scene. T__T HOW do parents let go and send off their child to the known dangerous world? How did my folks do it? Especially when all the child is equipped with is the enormous ignorance of all the lurking dangers around every darker corner? But I guess it is like when our parents witness us taking our first step on our own, all giggly and with the confidence of the world on our little chubby feet….until we fall and wail at the top of our baby lungs. And even as a small child, we took a mental note, after a few booboos, reddened faces and abundant of tears for show. The next step will be with a cautiousness not yet known prior, we learned. Yet we’ll never be that baby who will take the most joyous step without abandonment.
More rambling thoughts and spoilers:
SW hasn’t fallen in love. Definitely Not with TW even though they are dating (in 1998). She thought this is what it is about…having her caring and charming oppa/teacher be even more doting, and who ‘loves’ her. What more can a girl ask? What else does a girl need to think/hesitate about? This is fangirling v.2, now with reciprocated feelings, enjoyable benefits …nice dinners and allowances are NICE.
But TW is not a Tony, fangirling an idol is literally made up of definitive objects and simple, drilled activities inhabiting her life: limited edition fanraincoats, posters, magazines, video tapes, cassettes, songs, concerts, award shows. All things for her to watch, touch and fondle as she pleases and they stay ‘constant’, inanimate. TW has thoughts and feelings, expectations and wants, and when a simple kiss on the forehead is this nothingness, SW realizes….this is not what defined as romance should feel:
And her puppyloving world suddenly gets serious and opposite of simple.
The beauty of being young is we are ignorant to giving everything constant around us a care, a thought. We take things for granted. SW is oblivious to YJ, YJ to JH. It is when these constants evolve or disappear…that we grow to know what they truly are to us, their significance and how they define our lives….and suddenly they are most precious to us when slipping away and with it the days of being young. We cherish them, but they are no longer the same. We are no longer the same. It explains why we always look back at that magical age so fondly when it doesn’t feel at all puppies and unicorns then.
We are sure SW will forever remember the feel of YJ’s hands on her shoulder, the visual memory of his bare foot and his bleeding hand. She’ll remember her hesitation to touch his hand which she wants to desperately and his jumpy abrupt withdrawal. This is the exact moment YJ is no longer her simple childhood bff she can take for granted as a constant in her life, but a man. And she’s the person he cares like his woman.
What is most heartbreaking for me in this scene is not YJ. He has been stewing for a long while and it is a relief to get it out of his chest. He gets his point across clearly and he has how he’s going to deal with them laid out. SW is not absolutely shocked with the ultimatum but she can’t be ready. This is the worst timing for her to venture into the complicated maze of a relationship between a man and a woman, esp when she has just got a clue of her own on what the mess is going to be with TW. It is not a refusal to me because I only see SW trying to hold on to the constant of her life and at this point she’s missing her bff terribly and that was, as YJ says, since the day they were born, 18 years, the entirety of her life. She values YJ as her soulmate bff of her past 18 years…which she has to say goodbye to many parts of it, more than having a man. She is put on the spot, with everything that’s going on with the move without YJ’s head start time-wise to even realize their relationship is already redefined.
*sigh* my poor bebes! But what I love about 1997 thus far is, whenever I have a small quibble, they quickly give me a reassuring ending that distracts me off to squeeing: that ring/who’s the hubby saga *yawn* I’m more than damn sure the endgame so it’s tedious for me to go on w/ the charade. But still, end of 12 is SWEET and totally screaming and chanting OTP!OTP!OTP! to my ears. STILL, who let a preggie lady, ie your wife, your bffgf, go fetch a dozen coffees?! Or let her dash back to look for her precious~ in slippery bathrooms and not even ONE of them offer to go with her?!?!?!?!?!??!
*lesigh* I need stiff drink or a way too sweet and whipped cream galore Americano (I have never had an Americano but with all the kdrama references I think I’ll order one next time)? Or a YJ+JH bromanterrific bts. DARN, all the subliminal messages screaming at me to rewatch MNIKSS!!!!!!! *there was a hilarious, unforgettable stretch in ILICDD too*