Lying Liar: I Live in Cheong Dam Dong 8

Cheers everyone! ‘Tis the time of another year passing and wishing for a better one yet to come.   Merry Christmas for those of us who are celebrating.  Happy holidays!

One downside of watching ILICDD, crazy ramyun cravings.  I’m quite sick, throat is raw and sore, partly from laughing my arse off rewatching this baby.

Ohnoes, burglars are ravishing the homes of every CDDnites!  Madam Park is robbed thrice in one week by the same guy.  Everyone except for HJ, her security is excellent, or so she says.  The ladies warn from hearsay the security crew are masterful sticky fingers.  The next day, HJ forges a slumming gait.   She tells them her gold vault is cleaned out.  Classmate remembers her heavy bag of gold and gasps, asking if HJ had called the police.  Of course she did!  She’s getting scarily good, our liar extraordinaire.

A call is making JE so excited.  It’s from Choi Daechi, SY-sshi.  He’s asking if JE plays pool, snooker specifically. JE can play the very basics.  SY asks if JE is interested in a lesson.  JE says she’ll check her schedule (ie the box of produce).  Yes, she’s free.

JE twists her neck while practicing snooker moves.  SY calls JE again. He has found another snooker-mate to replace JE.   Chef knows right away SY is asking JE to keep him company, he never likes doing anything alone.  Chef has seen him eating lunch with a random ahjumma who is there solely as someone for SY to chat with.

JE hollers at the two boys probably reading smut.   They call JE a scary ahjumma as they leave.  JE flips hearing ‘Ahjumma’, throws her boot at their direction, the boot she’s still paying off in installments.

It hit Bum instead.  JE quickly takes off her other shoe and put on slippers.  Bum sees JE is still wearing her clothes from work, no way she completes the ensemble with slippers.  JE lies her job is just lax like that. To get back at JE, Bum stuffs his foot into her shoe, saying it’s a comfortable fit.

WH is watching a Bruce Lee movie for the nth time.  WH stops MS from switching to news with his threatening toes he’ll kick MS out if he dares.  MS is not impressed with Bruce Lee, he’s only good at making distracting noises.  To WH the fanboy, Bruce Lee was invincible.  From MS’s pov, that’s because Jackie Chan has not yet entered the business.  JC is only good with his fists, says WH.  But to MS, Jackie can fly between buildings, and jump from 100m high!  That is just a movie make-belief for WH, Bruce was a wuxia master before a movie star.  ‘He’s invented WingChun!’ shouts WH *which is not true, Bruce popularized WingChun, he invented Jeet Kune Do based on WingChun*. He has beaten many boxing masters in US.  MS puts the fact he’s a doctor knowing better on the bickering table.  He drags the innocent bystander, ramyun slurping SH in, asking his opinion on Bruce vs Jackie.

SH says Chow Yun Fat, coz he uses guns.  (LOLZ OMG I honestly think SH is the brightest of the 3).  MS is not one to concede, cowards who use gadgets are out of consideration.  WH gives SH a despising look *poor thing!*.  MS suggests they ask the experts.

BH tells HJ she saw SeoPyeong Girl at Morning Club.  HJ throws all the cucumber on her for going.  BH tells HJ SP Girl kept asking questions on HJ: her 3 dead husbands, and how well-off HJ is.  Instead of blowing HJ’s cover, BH went the extra mile to shut SP Girl for good,  spinning HJ has 2 boats, one is a luxury yacht, a mansion at Chung Pyung so humongous with 6 Dobermans.  She’s hit by HJ again.  How can HJ remember it all?  HJ grabs pen and paper and jolt it down.

MS and WH is asking the experts…at Naver, Bruce Lee vs Jackie Chan, who would win?  The answer is: What, little n00bs?  WH swears back, MS is insulted to be called a n00b as a father of 2 children.  Why won’t SH admit JC>BL? Same token, SH is asking why MS is not confessing BL>JC.  And what else should MS be refered to instead of a kiddo? Little girl? *and MS totally did a cute, frustrated face! <3*

Chef asks JE to do a delivery.  JE refuses at first, as the manager, but then happily obliges as a ‘one time offer’.  It is for SY, and he’s eating alone at his office.  Just when JE is done fangirling how shuai a guy so immersed in work is at his door, she yawns and of course that is the moment he looks up.

SY apologizes for inconveniencing JE, there’s no need to plate it so pretty.  JE asks SY where his lunch date is.  SY says (his coworkers are) at the garage.  JE thinks that’s all his plan to make her eat with him, but she is most willing.  Just when JE sits herself, SY’s lady date arrives. Oops!

HY is working hard memorizing her own possessions with BH’s help.  The mansion is at ‘Chung Pyung’.  She has SIX ‘Dobeman’, no Dobe…sth.   HJ gets a call from SP Girl.  The thief is caught!   They are all at the police station but the police knows nothing of the theft at HJ’s, they have reported it for her, she needs to come to the station.  HJ is thinking of excuses when Senior officer Kim properly asks Mdm Kim HyeJa to come to the Gangnam police station.

The bickering of BL vs JC continues.  BL was good looking, even MS can’t deny.  MS scoffs, as a plastic surgeon, JC is shuaier  * REALLY MS?!?!*  WH sticks his fist on his nose and this is his imitation of what JC looks like. *XDDD* MS insists he’s speaking from his expertise through repeated observations.  WH gets personal, MS must be looked down upon by his boss: a plastic surgeon that do not have aesthetics for faces.  MS is so pissed he walks off from his food.

SY is making his rounds of call for a drinking buddy without luck.  He then asks JE.  JE says no, SY leaves it at that, while he’s leaving JE tells him she will only order the most expensive drinks.

Back in their room, WH rubs it in, asking MS to admit JC < BL.  JC was only an extra in BL’s movie. Looks like 1 WH, 0 MS.  BUT, MS is using WH’s drawings to hold his toenails clippings.  MS says it’s so crude he thought it’s a doodle instead of hyung’s masterpiece.  He wonders if WH is drawing BL but it turns out a hair-less bear.  WH says he’s drawing MS.  MS then doodles a circle and 2 dots as WH’s face, his features are too flat, looking exactly like a potato.  SH has enough (gosh is he patient or IS HE PATIENT!?)  He tells them to stop being so childish, fight and get it over with.  For once, they listen to the fighting part, the part SH doesn’t mean it.

At the police station, the rich ladies have their possessions recovered, except HJ’s at Cheongdamdong no. 952.  The burglar admits he was there, but he didn’t even enter that place.  HJ says, of course her house is too secured, he could not get in.  Thief pleads he can get in but there is nothing to be robbed there!  HJ holds his hand and coos him lets forget about his sin, she understands and…slaps him the upside of his head!

On the rooftop, mano-a-mano, MS vs WH:

WH: I know Bruce Lee’s Jeet Kune Do.

MS: I ‘m using Jackie’s Hawk Claw.

Last chance, or I’ll flatten you with my fist just like that.

It’s not like I won’t move!  I’ll break any hand swinging at me.

I’ll swipe your hand off and welcome you with a tripping side kick.

I’ll FLY and hit hyung’s weakest spot.

Ha, as if I am not anticipating.  I’ll leap and hit you, once, twice, and THRICE!

I’m a hawk, you can’t hit me, I’ll fly up 3 meters.

I’ll soar up 5 m.

How can a human being jump up 5 m?

Bruce Lee COULD!

Well then, I’ll shoot out spideywebs.

What a coward, webs? We said we’ll only use fists! I’ll airbend (like Aang)!

It’s then SH has had enough of the silliest childish games and walks off.  As I’ve said, SH should be a lovely babysitter of bickering boys.

Mr Cop is driving HJ and thief to HJ’s house.  They will look at the security system and the gold vault to determine what is robbed.  HJ is busy saying her prayer of repentance: Lord, I’m a sinner, what is the purpose of me living on?  Here, now, let this be the end.

The tailgater hits their car.  When the cop steps out to investigate, HJ flees!  Cop halts her, she asks him for a piece of gum, literally cleansing off some of the funk coming out of her mouth.  HY opens her mouth after some chewing, ‘My home….’

MS and WH is embracing like best buds,  MS says Bruce Lee is magnificant, WH says he admires Jackie Chan, WITH TEARS BRIMMING!  Both of them (or snot).  BH hollers at them not cleaning the bathroom.  She asks WH to take a look at Big Sis at the police station.

The cop says HJ is very ‘cute’ now, but one step further,  he would have to arrest her.  Her pants, are this close to being a burning inferno.  HJ smiles her billion won smile, promising him she understands how grave it is, wishing Mr Cop a safe drive back.   She then breaks down to sobs.  On her way back home, HJ ponders she almost die because of her lies, if there is a quota on how many lies a person can tell in a lifetime, she must’ve used it up in the three months she is in CDD.  She hopes from the bottom of her heart, there won’t be a lie coming out every again.  This is when WH sees HJ on the street, he’s worried about her.  When she’s zipping up WH’s vest, PinkLady bumps into them asking who this man is.  HJ says he is… a charity case.  She wipes snot off WH some more and tells him to take care going back home himself.  From the bottom of her heart, the lies keep coming.

Over drinks, JE asks SY why does he constantly need companion.  SY says he likes the companionship and the ladies in his life will not fuss if they have to wait for him, nor annoyed when he is not forthcoming.  There are too many cool ladies in the world to give it all up for only one.  But one look, he knows JE can not be taken lightly.  She is the type that will get hurt easily.

The room of the CDBB boys is freezing, they share their anecdotes of how miserably starved they grew up.  The last boy takes the cake *warning of LOL GROSSNESS* he grew up with so little food he has no poop, his anus shut close and is surgically re-opened.  Manager walks in excited, it’s snowing, time to feed on fresh snow.  The boys conclude Manager of the poorest of them all, living like this at his ripe old age.

More alcohol in her system, JE insists she’s cool and won’t hit SY for what he said, people says she looks like Shin Min A.  She’s very popular in SeoPyeong *bam* JE hits her own head.

Seeing SY’s hand, she grabs it.  *OMO!* She grasps.  It’s a misunderstanding, of his hand? It is a misunderstanding, see, her Choi DaeChi is…SY is the first CDD man she….A lot of people said she looks like Shin Min A…and JE flops out of consciousness.

Again JE is not letting SY drops her off exactly at her home.  When she walks in the manhwabang, there is a package with a note with lovey doveys printed on it, addressed to ‘Miss Manhwabang’.

Ah, an admirer, JE thinks. It’s her shoe, reused as the container for a beautiful bouquet, from none other than Mr. Bum.

We end the episode with HJ listening to the radio in her kitchen.  An audience is calling in, she’s just moved into a tony neighborhood, in order to blend in, she keeps embellishing her life.   It is getting out of hand, maybe she is a pathological liar.  Her real life is not too drastically different though, she has a resort in Brazil, a vacation home in Chung Pyeong, no, it’s Yang Pyeong. Oh and also the caller has six Doberaemons.