My Magnum O-Pfffffffffttttt on YZ’s Swordsman

Once and for all.

First, let me be nice,  ChenXiao is more than insanely pretty ever imaginable, bonus, he can act:

HanDong is THE scene-stealer he brings his own lovely fireworks to scene whenever he’s in it:

And of course Wallace and HanDong serve up the most ridiculous cheesiest slashiest lines with aplomb:

Yeah and have another ChenXiao:

I am slurping up all those lovely fanvids, fansnarks, fanarts, fan-whatever and godzillion times better than this piece of junk.    In no freaken way, on my head, am I ever gonna watch the drama or contribute to even ONE hit of internet viewership on anything YZ is doing or will ever do, now and forever.

Swordsman is close to what I expected in how unbelievably horrible it is.  It’s not even funny anymore just even more desk-flipping infuriating with that mindset of I KNEW ITTT! IF I’m ever gonna sit down and waste my time and brain and fuck up my aesthetics watching, I’ll die of bleeding out my brain from all my facial orifices.  Not a pretty sight to wish upon one self.  No, just no.

YuZit sets out to offend the largest scope and scoop of audience as only he is capable of, and he gets exactly what he bargains for! He did it in flying colors, it’s his ‘talent’ really, on one hand maiming up a classic just to the point it’s absolutely unrecognizable yet still can ride the original’s fandom somewhat sprinkling in hacked names and scenes, on the other hand he’ll claim with his most sincere bloated carp face his version is truest to the original as true as he’s a man and LHC is WXB  and YSS is talented and pretty and suitable for EVERY heroine in EVERY drama he’s EVER gonna do. Fact, the shiz.  but I’m not even gonna grant him that satisfaction of fcking with me,  he’s betting on the most snarky explosive vitriol driving eyeballs to check out just HOW offensive and crappy it can possibly be.  I know it’s a new spectacular low, nth new there, really, and that’s all my curiosity will take me.

I’m an avid lover of the book.   It is my dear friend that I have spent lovely time with, annually, without fail, last 20+ year.  Nothing YZ did here have any semblance to the novel, NOTHING.  Even when characters are donning the same name, locations are of the same spot mentioned, sects are referred to as the exact same title.  This is purely YZ’s shit slammed on the framework LC’s creation, ie still the grand carnival of plain old YZ’s excrement out of his brain.

I do not believe the masterpiece, the book that is, let me be clear, is that translatable,  it is dense with veiled political intrigue and allegory throughout.  It will never be a hit outside of the Chinese speaking world.   It may not even match the much more mass popular works of LC alone like RoCH or LoCH there.  But it is as close to a perfect piece of fiction to me nothing since has surpassed. LHC is the odd man out of his whole milieu, he’s a regular joe, almost like a modern transplant to this conspiring world of jianghu.  Every kickass kungfu mantra has its side effect, whether to cave into the desire for power, to get ahead in this world, not unlike the challenges in RL, or do it the hard way, bumps and bruises and all, it’s a life choice for the characters in the book and can be extrapolated existentialistically.  I am not really that strict on everything adapted MUST adhere to canon (look at my shameless fangirling of YangKang the character, which is separate from my frothy bias over Loverboy of all things)  BUT this is my bottomline, the canon in Smiling, Proud Wanderer is so perfectly developed it’s sacred.  The most I can take is the Brigitte Lin’s movies, giving Dfbb an emphasis and delving deeper into his psyche but STILL it didn’t go change up the sex of the VILLAIN, and rewrites the character into a fluffy shoujo romance’s protagonist boys and girls will now worship, and no full on slash twisty LURVE of LHCxDFBB.

And how blasphemous and nauseating is this shoujofication of LHCxDFBB as the most shamelessly thinly veiled OTP in YZ’s?!  First of all, if YZ has real balls, which of coz it does not,  it should do its brainfart of blatant plagiarism of the cliched QiongYao makjang, it’s lifted off strict scenes, nice swoonworthy deeds EVERY character has done towards LHC to the ladyDFBB just to force the romance down our throat despite our gagging.  Then YZ sticks that eyesore causing a thousand scary nightmares, YSS, who can NEVER EVER ACT A LICK in the titular RYY role who is the real OTP heroine of the novel proper almost like a passing thought just to sate his moneyboss bankrolling the productions YSS is the girl1 in every single one of them (and rumor is YZ’s boss is sugardaddy behind YSS explaining WHY THE FUCK someone as talentless and FUG as her can be the lead actress of EVERY YZ poopydrama) and now the most brainless fandom on earth of HIS Shizman drama alone is weeping and pleading for YZ to give them back their O!fking! T! P! of LHCxladyDFBB and off that fugly RYY third wheel.

What he did, nuking the LHCxRYY ship just to give every ‘meaty’ scene to JoeChen’s ladyDFBB is not unlike IF someone does a drama on Harry Potter and has a young attractive actress playing Voldemort, allotting crucial deeds Hermione, Sirius, Dumbledore, Snape, Ginny did to her Voldemort instead…you name it and has Harry Potter spending 29 of 30 episode romancing the fuck out…that kind of CLUSTERFUCK!!!   Or take Shakespeare, make Tybalt an attractive feisty lady and the one orating the line, ‘O Romeo, Romeo, wherefore art thou Romeo?’ on the balcony….and the likes.

So here is my mission statement as a drama-watching fangirl.  Say NO! FUCKing Noooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! to the drama-cancer that is YZ.  Don’t watch, don’t care, don’t contribute.  It is when he can be obliviated and free up precious space for way more worthy drama, ie ANY DRAMA DAMN IT!  I for one can use a Loverboy drama in place of ANY YZshiz any day and there are quite a number of Loverboy drama all done just waiting to be aired I’m set to be entertained for a few years and eyes be spared on this brand of eyesore.

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