Updates on Yuan Hong

HAHAHAHA.

Yes, I can feel all the side glances 9/10 of you are throwing at me.  ‘AGAIN?!  Is that absolutely necessary?!!?!?!!?!!!!!!!!!!!!!’ <_<  >_>  <_<  >_>

Yup. Yes, it is.  ‘The world is a better place if I do this post’, the voice in my craycrayhead said.

One of his brilliant fangirls did the manip, but he’s the one posting the original pic of himself oh so proud of his gorgeous preening carrying a mickeymouse life-safer:

袁弘: 大海航行靠剁手。#有一种美赢在气质#
YH: Sailing the seas depends on chopping hands off! #There is a beauty that is winning and it is called IT#
(剁(duò)手/chopping hands off is his wordplay on 舵(duò)手ie helmsman)  and he tagged his precious tweet with #There is a beauty that is winning and it is called 气质/IT#  *气质 is google translated to temperament, but it’s encompassing much more, like everything intangibly alluring in a person….aura?  Lovely qualities? Charms? Personalities? Style?*  And knowing the style of my loverboy, all he’s doing is being adorably pompous.  He knows he is obviously gorgeous in his white captain uniform, but even when he is carrying a mickeymouse primary color life safer (that existed before he’s born) in one hand and the other grabbing onto his ship just to strut a pose, he’s not gonna let us off reminding his beauty is more winning within: in his charms, temperament, aura, allure, style, lovely personality…etcetcetc.
After a quite biting satire on some current events that got me kinda worried he’ll be ‘harmonized’ (more on that later), he is actually quoting a famous propaganda song glorifying MZD (the words……sooooo befittingly hilarious),  written in 1964.
And also, his puns are never just one little poke, it’s always a double, triple punch.  There is the chinese joke: 为什么很多海盗的手都是铁钩子?因为大海航行靠剁手   Why do pirates have hooks for hands?  Because….sailing the seas depends on 舵手helmsman/剁手 chopping hands off!
He’s not done, underneath his white uniform, he’s possibly wearing one of the tank tops of Nami!!!!! (fr One Piece, he’s an avid fanboy of the manga which has lots of pirates!)  *I kid, he’s possibly wearing a copycat of one of JPG’s nautical tees from last season, he’s cheeky that way, and will giggle to his own ‘subtle’ thematic brilliance in wardrobe choice.  I guarantee.  That is not beneath his dorkiness.*
More pics on set:  This pouffe bouffant of a coif makes him even more bobble-head muahahaha, he should keep his captain cap on 24/7.  And now he’s also doing couple’s outfit with fangirls?!?!!?!?!??

The scriptwriter (in white pants) and the PD (in white).  They look serious, and happy.  Good sign!

Han Xue, the leading lady is sooooo gorgeous befitting the era:

So what did our cutest and most harmless Angry Young Chinese Man aka Fenqing with an acid tongue say the other day?  A parable.

森林里老虎每年都举办一场三妖舞。它不仅是提醒狼和狐狸们们遵守规则,更是提醒它们遵守潜规则。你可以不守规则,但谁要敢不遵守潜规则,老虎就拿三妖舞弄你。于是每年三妖舞之后,大家都为了赚到来年的贡品而更加丧心病狂。#我没说你们我只是在讨论一种异次元舞蹈#
YH: Every year, the tiger organizes the Three Witches Dance in the forest.   Its purpose is not only to remind the wolves and the foxes to adhere to the Rules, but also to remind them more importantly to stick with the Unspoken Rules.  You can sneak away from adhering to the rules, but if you do not play according to the playbook of Rules-Which-Must-Not-Be-Mentioned, the tiger will use the Three Witches Dance on you.  Therefore, every year, after the Three Witches Dance, everyone will go even more frenzied in order to cough up next year’s tribute. #Didn’t I tell y’all I’m just discussing a dance of another beast#
Three Witches Dance /三妖舞 is homophonic to 3.1.5 (<-link is a WSJ article explaining the whole deal).  CCTV has an annual feature on March 15, ‘honoring’ the World Consumer-Rights Day (huh…..) . It is like a ‘consumer report’ expose.  But this year it’s so rigged with scandals of back door deals it’s the best drama I’ve seen last few months.   It’s quite clear now the show is ripe with negotiations with the big state-owned conglomerates, if enough slick favors are offered underneath the table, there won’t be a mention in the show, they will focus on all and every foreign power players instead.  They did a very hilarious, under the table PR move, PMing/ ‘encouraging’ many popular weiboers to jab at Apple, the first company under its critique.   Turns out the tweets are all making a similar point and with almost identical wordings because it’s penned and sent to them beforehand with a reminder attached at the end ‘to be posted at 8:20pm’.  Peter Ho is one of the weiboer asked to do a ‘favor’, but he’s forgotten to delete the last few words.  This sparks up a weibo frenzy and that clue alone lifted the whole arrangement behind the scene.   It’s so juicy and entertaining and makjang Loverboy can’t help but cleverly budge in.  BUT STILL, I’m not sure someone working in his industry, atm shooting a oh-so-patriotic spy thriller should be yelping about this sensitive issue, you know?

13 thoughts on “Updates on Yuan Hong

    1. Do you mean mookie will get off work daily and retire eventually but she will never get tired of Yuan Hong for life, lol? Btw, I am borrowing your lover boy for my new feature but I honestly have no intention of stealing him so rest assured he is still yours, haha… Btw I like your new banners on YH but I think one or two of them show his unflattering forehead:P

    1. I kinda wanna write to him in calligraphy better than his kindergartener penmanship haha asking for him to send me some goodies, like monthly autographed hot pics of himself with his smooch on it for my devotion and slavery to the fandom. lol

      because apparently every reporter of his is either his longtime super rabid fangirl or turns one while interviewing him, There is just a, geez, 3 trillion words article out on him that is so full of fangirl squees I wonder how that got through the editors of a respectable printed matter. I kinda wanna translate, but it’s sooo darn LONG! ><

  1. Best smile…. YH’s pic with the little boy. It just melts my heart.

    Please…. do not stop translating…. Please……

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