Run-by post celebrating the start of August. Hola Peeps!
Longmen Express is one rambunctious circus. It’s not always successful at being funny, but never boring, This is copying from the playbook of Mighty Python and Stephen Chow’s moleitau periods in the 90s, ie it seldom makes much sense, and thinking more into anything that is going on on screen would NEVER help. You need years of vast knowledge of everything CN popculture since the 80s (which includes quite a bit of Street Fighter fiendom) to pick up every gag popping up miles a minute, frankly much is above my comprehension, though it’s not hard to see what it is trying to do. It’s written with at least a lot of hard work (look at what they are doing with episode #:
A lot of thought was poured in and it’s not a complete insult to intelligence, which sadly is what I would define 99% of Cdramas I happen to have seen last few years. I let out a few chuckles and there are passing scenes, speeches where I ponder hmmm it seems to have a heart as well, there is some meat with a semblance of discussing the *grasp* human condition under all the shrill. So….this is hard to come by 1%, ie watchable, Cdrama. And that alone made it a must-watch and I should dance and sing (nah). BUT, in no way this is not absolutely weird mad WTF carnival. If you get cranky easily at characters in some wuxia getup speaking English, and ‘French’ and started flipping desk seeing a Doraemon kidnapped into slavery: Look the other way. Did I tell you this has a freaken who’s who on its guestlist: HXM, FBB, my Loverboy YH and my one-summer-stand ChenXiao just to name a few. Oh and btw Loverboy is in a ‘court’ scene because he’s long been touted as a Kenny Ho as Zhan Zhao lookalike, ie the handsome sidekick of Justice Bao, but it is also double entendre as Loverboy is weirdly acquiring some new noise now that Chilam is the hottest sizzling thing in town with his hit role in some silly TVB drama where he’s playing a playboy pilot and peeps keep mixing up his face and Loverboy’s….the kicker being Chilam’s RL wife Anita Yuan is the lead/matron of the Longmen gang. A bit of synopsis: The Longmen gang is the Fedex of wuxia middle kingdom, where there were lots of precious goodies to move around, and slimy baddies to steal it by all means necessary and this Express company, made up of a bunch of shady but goody outliers, is underwater, lost it last precious cargo and in debt. It is a funny visual seeing Anita and facetwin of her hubby appearing on the same screen to say the least.
Gong/Palace the movie. Lets not pretend this has a shred of historical accuracy, decency/respect of anything other than being a period chickflick. Because I want one angstyfluffypretty period chickflick and NOTHING ELSE. We are halfway through the summer and I refuse to use my brain when I can! Do not mess with me YuZheng, I still hate you, but love the pretties and their chemistry in this flick more.
Because Qing period fluff will give me unreal perfectly lit pretty bald boys praying/crying/angsting in all that white marble of the imperial palace against the red walls.
I would like to try this once, looks more fun than being scooped up and shoo’d off in a Maserati.
There is a conspiracy going on, why is there ALWAYS a foodporn going on whenever I get like 2 min of asian cable time?! It is SUMMER and it is blasphemy to show food show weehours my time. I need to stop watching those damn Jdorama food porn because damnit I still have doramas from seasons past I need to watch, and this season!! Shall I check out Woman? Hanzawa Naoki? Masatosama is calling me, and I have Ooku – Eien downloaded! Back to foodporndorama, I’m watching 孤獨のグルメ, then there is one where the foodie ojisan is a detective, then another one a pretty flower man or sth. WHY do they have so many and I. CANT. STOP!!! It is the most horrible time sink because not just I’m watching it like an addict, I then have to go make myself obscene amount of food in the middle of the night and I do have to clean up my tracks, then I feel so guilty I have to make time to work out some more, which I HATE! Disgusting waste of time. STOP FEEDING ME EYES JAPAN! It was also exactly when I asked why was some Choi JiWoo eating all over Korea travelogue on my tele now?! Where she’s as lithe as a polestick and eating raw chicken and that totally perplexed me…just when that week’s episode of 孤獨のグルメ/kodoku no gurume has my hottest foodie ojisan crush eating… torisashi/chicken sashimi and for the love of my stomach I thought that is slices of salmonella suicide but now I WANT! I think it’s a sign, I’m near my end. So, why not go the extreme and feast my eyes while swearing motherfather at my growling tummy some more while I watched a little French movie Les saveurs du Palais/Haute Cuisine. Clearly foodpornfrancais for my SOUL, there is this oddball ladychef who is a mean cook (of course) and yadayadayada some very important person falls in love with her food and her person, too!) Then there is this short little TVB variety 飲食男女(eat.drink.man.woman)/May Food Keep Us Together totally sappy manipulative down to the music where a story of a normal little restauranteur will be showcased and lines like, ‘I’d rather master the art of family then milktea.’ – Fr Mr. milktea master champion and we have his wayward son now has his life turned back because of his daddy not giving him up and HE CRIED TOO. And TPTB ALWAYS have me flip to that channel when it’s on then cry my eyes out while I make my neverending bucketlist of things I still need to chow in Hong Kong. Speaking on foodporn, even the 宫崎骏 fandom has gone nuts anticipating his latest masterpiece Kaze Tachinu/風立ちぬ, The Wind Rises:
*this looks sooo doable back to our Fun with Food (How to not eat green stuff) days*
Blade (Sword Flower) Petals: My wanderlust breathing exercise. It takes me into a realm of visual poetry so attesting and I wander and got lost in the milieu, happily a few hours a wk. I religiously skip lunch every Wed/Thur and savor the hour, deadly focused, at times pausing because I just love to STARE at CMS and lost myself in time and space and lust, that and I just need to take a break and BREATHE. *Tinyspoiler for e10* my Csub has ‘Princess’ new name as 舞英 (dancing flower) which is homophonic to 无影 (shadowless…usu we said it with sword no?!). Even a fansubbing ‘booboo’ is perfect poetry!
What would you do to flop yourself in that space of white wall?!
Cruel City. I have just started this beast, ie done with ep1. I’m a bit bumped it is not love at first sight. Y’all can tell me this is Infernal Affairs but imo this is more The Departed, ie gone is all the the style, story is told, shits happened, we get fr pt A to pt B, peeps got bludgeoned, blurred little knives, an Old Boy sequence rounding up the episode, but then it has tonnes of music when I’d rather it’s more matter of fact, and the actors are not TonyLeungs. The music is excessive and uncool, I’m not even sure it’s trying to be. It fails at heightening the mood for me when I thought the scene would fare much better for me without one extraneous sound heard. Yeah and I am not sure I could buy some cool-headed no nonsense ruffian having the time to put on all the hair product and guyliner. <-This whatRYoubutONEsillyfluffaddictedshoujofiendahjumma diatribe is here because I LOVE to eat my own words. EVery one of them. I’m counting on it. Do not fail me on multiple levels now, Drama.
Shingeki no Kyojin/進撃の巨人/Attack on Titan So, I’m mixing things up with a Shonen anime. The premise is simple, some ancient time, humans are living inside massive fortresses (like pets) for a hundred years of peace from huge human-eating Titans just outside. Hell (and walls) break loose one day and…shit happens. I am checking this out because the fandom is CRAZY:
BREAKING BAD IS BACK AUGUST 11!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Yeah, these last few episodes would possibly make this drama the BEST on my drama list across EVERYTHING.
Oh, and there are also that fluffy Loverboy idoldrama Love Trouble coming out on C!C!T!V! in August. Starring hot off the TWdrama hit Two Fathers, Lin Yo Wei , yet another facetwin with Loverboy (it’s per comments of fangirls from both sides) and the 2 leading ladies are very cute as well. I must say, now that this is definitely showing somewhere I can watch on my tele in HD and this is clearly mindless fluff ie my summer sustenance, Mulan has been pushed back on my list.
Loverboy his person, is currently squarely in his hometown in WuHan, seen out and about around town, tonnes of fanpics, ALL sporting this RED FLOWER shirt:
Now, that burnt caramel hair makes sense, it’s not to match his poodle miaomiao but he’s playing a ruffian, and the hair would be fried naturally anyway in the 40C heat. HAHA the fugly shirt must’ve bugged him so bad he has to change it to his own tee before he’ll let some reporter take his pic yesterday:
There is still no sighting of Mr. Hyun Binnie yet, except here and there in CFs:
What are you grumpy about?! DO you have the right to?!?!?!?!?! I am pretty sure we’ll have to to through August and you won’t show until the movie starts filming and your fanmeet for your birthday in SEPTEMBER. Lest I forget, you silly honchos at Sam Sung Lot te… yes he looks good in suits, and clothes in general:
but it’s SUMMER, and the least you can do is to remember this dude has a withering away soon to be wrapped in sageuk garb POST MARINE BODE and you obscenely rich bigshots who could PAY him owe us something like this and have him sell some blinds in, whatever:
Nononononononononono, the other way round!!!
Arasso?! Got IT!?!?!?!!?
Yeah, it can be reprimanded with someone catching you at a beach somewhere vacaying, shooting some more CFs hey sam sung do you have one seawaterproof gadget to sell now?! Preferably in a beach my shores (we have nude beaches here), drivable reachable by my little car.