Here yuma, I come in peace and I have a most sincere offer on the table:
I’m happy to resort to me swapping my slightly over 100 pounds, almost identical ht with your embodiment of female ideal of late body with yours, as the only reason I can think of you fking everything and everyone is in fact… bless your heart, you are suffering from your grueling weight loss and you are deprived of food items and you envy puffy cheeks and chubby stature, and you are craving a XiaoLongBao, constantly, 24/7. I would be happy to make your life easier so everyone attached to your Return of Condor Heroes and Foxy demoness and a XiaoLongBao could make an easier living and we as bystanders who can’t help but watch the ultimate doomed marriage of any combination (I do not want to spoil and ruin anything of your most ‘colorful’ imagination) between a hero, a condor, a fox and a yummy dimsum (tiny piece of heart). I didn’t say it out loud it’s doomed because you are attached but we know our Strange Stories from a Chinese Studio a romance crossing taboo barriers of lifeforms of humans and demons and on top of that with a little lump of juicy meat-filled doughy goodness would never end well *very straight face of mine.* The public needs to resume a life without all the unnecessary emotions and inexplicable swearing and smashing of things. I have no idea where it stems from, do you?! But all I can sense is you are not happy and your unhappy wrath on the world is not making me happy for one. All I’m asking is on one condition, as long as I can control that mind or whatever u have inside your head. I will make do with your body and your face. I Swear. Ain’t I a sunshine.
With due respect, and whatever I can do, here, have my arm, mookie.
I can’t make myself pasting every bts and stills here undiluted, so I just have to put some pretty pix, like the rest of the C interweb is self-medicating, sadly with nothing to do with yuma’s ‘RoCH’ in the mix. I care about your eyes and sanity.
A headline in a CN newspaper Titled: The Freaks are Coming…
I do not know why this still can shock me to horror. I have never seen Chen Xiao fug, plain fug in a period EVER and we all know he’s been doing mostly yuma’s tackiest stuff. I can not imagine who in the right mind would think this is an acceptable period hair-do, where it’s literally sticking a bun and bits of wig/extension on a modern coif with bangs. My only glimmer of hope this is only the urchin/’beggar’ look (come on POKKA DOTS!!??!) of young Yang Guo but don’t we have a very good looking boy playing the youngun?! *me so very worried ><*
This plaid on hammer pants?!?!? The Bieber with his very questionable taste (to me) won’t wear that. And what is with that loin cloth?! Please do not tell me this has anything to do with sanitary personal hygiene after pooping.
It pains me CX does not look amused in any of the bts. Imo this should be as exciting as coveted a role a young up and coming actor can ever land in a C drama, EVER. He is almost rolling his eyes, holding in the tears of WTF and pleading me to go get him out of there. My Poor Pretty Boy! *SOBBINGFOREVER* And yeah, I didn’t even want to scroll down or start with the million things wrong piled on him as an outfit neckdown. ** skip this following sentence if you are under 21, but auntiemookie here is in RAGE! I’m not responsible for any trauma this will cause M’KAY?!?!! : CX, my dear poor pretty thing, did u agree to any of this so against your will the only wager u can wrangle to appease yourself a little is you can haz YZ’s balls hanging as stress relief squeeze toys ?!**
This is the costumer who did CP3. While it may work for an OTT RPG manga-like drama adapt, still, HuGe’s outfits were FUG! in both CPs. The ladies were fine though, I love the outfits of YangMi, LSS, and TangYan there! So aside from any color other than WHITE is wrong on a XLN, what is this horrible fit to make MC even stubbier and chubbier and neck-less and harboring a questionable bulge from her chest down to the waist area, if I can call it a waist?!?!
I do not care much for RoCH adapts, hence I do not retain much, perhaps the hair is not terribly wrong in comparison, but when it comes to an actor who is talented, I want to see as much of his face (brows included) when he’s emoting as possible:
Palate cleansers, I need plenty. Lets not abuse the words pretty, beautiful, attractive, the likes, here is an illustration that should be attached to the hordes of chinese characters used to define a beauty. It would be hard to surmount how all rounded Idy’s XLN is in my heart but I could live with any of these fantasy choices:
I think Rosamund Kwan’s face is aesthetically very strikingly unforgettably beautiful. I thought she won’t be suitable for periods with her westernized features, and she’s a limited actress, but this is one face that can fit the poetry LC vexed on XLN. She’s more suitable for a Princess Fragrance, of course.
Joey Wang: Lithe and tall and ethereal. Perhaps her features are not delicately perfectly beautiful in closeups but she can capture that off-putting aloofness. Who would mind a young Joey as XLN?!!?!? Not me.
Carmen Lee. She is a bit overrated for me, but she’s a beauty alright. The weibosphere is swarmed with her XLN, and many are rewatching RoCh95 to relief their eyes, arguably the crowd’s favorite.
Sharla Cheung, there may be too much 風塵 ‘wind and dust’ in her eyes for the unworldly untainted pureness/ignorance of an authentic XLN, but she would’ve been an interesting choice.
If we want a ‘reinvention’, where XLN is short and cute and cuddly and warm and bubbly, only an Athena Chu can fit the bill yet kinda fit the aesthetics in the face as described by LC.
Maggie is added because Sirey reminded me of my silly head forgetting things:
Maggie is the inspirational success story EVERY actress should study long and hard and if they even just copy half her dedication, I can almost shut all my rant. She was cute but not classically beautiful, not graceful in her heydays and was branded a vase for years, but how hard she has worked! Her drive in her craft brought her to a level holding her own against every glorious movie star from a Leslie to a Brigitte. But even after she’s earned the respect of transforming herself steadily to an actress from being stereotyped a cute vase through a tonne of hard work and improvement, her face is too modern with the angles not considered period-pretty. She was jawdroppingly nuanced and the personification of all things feminine and gentile in Ashes of Time. And a Maggie, in her early 30s would have been one choice for XLN who did not fit the bill being strikingly drop dead gorgeous but one can trust her skills and technique would’ve convinced us so. Nobody, even if you have lived in the 60s, as attested by my grandaunties could wear and walk in those qipaos she’d masterfully donned in In the Mood for Love without years of working at it, it was madskills to train herself to the minutiae detailed requirement of WKW just walking the stairs holding that luncheon vessel alone in all the lithe and grace and not one ounce of deviation anywhere to be seen in the displacement of her body. As slender as Maggie has always been, to slick herself in those skin-tight qipaos painting that picture she did frame after frame took WORK. And she is one of the dying breed that has the ethics to respect her profession as such, not just empty lofty utterance of ‘trying a best, bringing you sth new, this pig can fly blablabla’ No one need an awful new when it’s tragically worst than an old.
If judging on her performance alone, ie aside from scene is twice too long and music is so bizarrely wrong. LYF did dazzle me with her entrance:
I still can’t fathom why yuma never once considered Tong LiYa. She’s worked for him in supporting roles. I bet she’s cheaper than MC (lets play innocent and follow along if they are paid their asking price and a movie leading lady is always paid more than a strictly TV actress) All along I thought yuma was going for the younger idols, his choice and be my guest with an Angelababy, but his ‘perfect’ pick is a much older looking MC. YaYa is the right age for a slightly older XLN to CX’s YangGuo but still young enough to not get the world absolutely batty when LC said XLN looks STAY forever 16, yes unrealistic and so annoyingly chauvinistic but don’t adapt an LC if none of his words mean a thing then.
She’s a DANCER, a very good one, that’s her ticket into the industry. Here she is acting and dancing as the most captivating seductress in Tang Court:
I had no idea that leaked pic of the screen test yuma posted was PS’d to the kilt until a side by side. Sorry Merlin fans, the C netizens habitually used Angel Coulby’s Gwen (it doesn’t help when her name sounds like 囧 in chinese, the word is almost a pictogram of a fugface) for this sorts of comparison :X but they still conclude with similar amount of PS, their ultimate queen of fugging up da screen is more attractive than MC, their words.
This is the new XLN on her bed, a rope and while it can’t be comfy for MC, most are empathizing with the dude laboriously holding it up, leaning on the set.
Li MoChou, our hair person must LURVE Princess Leia/Nezha/ChunLi:
yuma blahblahblah this will have mythical fantasy elements, the ancient tomb gals are fox demonesses scorned by love or something. Fox spirits in CN folklore have always been Huli Jing ( a derogatory term for women who are home wreckers/seducers of taken men). And knowing yuma’s obsession with brothels (I’m not well-versed in yuma’s dramas, but YangMi timeflipped to a brothel in Goong, Dong Fong Bu Bai worked ‘undercover’ in a brothel as the top escort for intelligence gathering.) and his disgusting winkwink tweet with the actress referring to her ex/love of her life in drama Lu as if he’s a customer and she’s the call girl…… ohmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm!
The pink. XLN is described as a puff of the most dazzlingly gorgeous white airy mist. Not cosplaying both the Little Twin Stars.
What is wrong with CX in the stills is this looks like any rpg spokesperson campaign a dime a dozen. I can barely see half his face and I do not know what the hell all the fire is about.
The inner wrangling is getting clearer and clearer by every yuma tweet. He’s nothing but one trick predictable. At it again bastardizing the heroine in favor of the ‘girl2’ , ie the actress with the more powerful/richer backers and dragging the hero down the mud along, AGAIN! Only in yumaland can a Li MoChou have better done stills and more kickass wuxia master than both YangGuo and XiaoLongNu combined. I do not know where 张馨予/Zhang XinYu comes from other than she made headlines with her personal life, is plastically beautiful, have plastic boobs…ie typical CN starlet. She has been popping up EVERYWHERE in big profile things both in movies and dramas. She is pretty, but as with every one of them with such extensive surgeries done to their faces, she can’t withstand the scrutiny of the camera and she can’t properly emote. I’d rather bet on MC being the better actress of the two. MC while with no screen presence and is forgettable had not bothered me since I first saw her in WhyWhyLove (but keyword, forgettable, I didn’t realize I’ve seen her before Apple) 张馨予’s face will turn freaky when she emotes. We’re so in it for a treat, not.
On top of a shocking pink trimmed, babyblue trimmed there is also a canary yellow trimmed (and one guess there would also be a shrek green trimmed, an orange, red, purple and whatever 我是XLB，我要代表yuma，消滅你們！):
Rumor is MC is not yuma’s choice, at all. She’s inserted in the production by her backers pumping $8 million in the production is why. Which is a very realistic picture because talk is the outfit for XLN is tailored for someone around ~170cm and MC is 10cm shorter (or more) hence the horrible fit. There was also the clue when the production was recruiting extras a while ago, they specifically asked for height btn 167-170 cm. Anyway, looks like MC is wearing some heavily padded shoes or on stilts and her hair/horns is almost as tall as the length of her face. I sincerely hope she’s a dancer, because this can’t be easy to walk in let alone all the wuxia dancing involved (but again, I have no sympathy as she’s bringing it onto herself)
I love CX’s fandom, they are basically weeping and in mourning but they are able to find the hilarity in any direst situation. The hairdos of the ladies must be inspired by yuma watching too much Sailormoon.
This must be the memo yuma sent to costume/hair persons:
Hey do not let me down, I’m so looking forward to XLN spinning out pink hearts, babyblue hearts, yellow hearts with her extra yards of fabric and the enemies all die of cute.
This is from Taobao, the biggest ebay-esque site, selling for peanuts. A narrower belt piece will do MC SUCH a godsent. It will elongate her neck, give her a waist, let her have the tonnage of fabric/ie her weapondry, but it’s light and airy looking instead of used bloodied gauze…
Even the brilliant shopkeeper in some CN supermarket can come up with a more creative costume for XLN in TP. Just add sleeves to this and some underlining she has her silk ribbony weapons at her convenient disposal. I can even see that little knot in the front doubling as a little bow/pocket for her gloves and needles:
A few days into proper filming, CX hasn’t slept much and is looking like a walking dead. *SOBZZZZZZZZZZZFOREVER*
This is rumored to be CX’s YangGuo holding a baby Guo Xiang with older sis Guo Fu in pink. >< If this is true that cumbersome diarrhea of fabrics and accessories and sorry hair will stick for a while. Unless all that jagged pleating serves a purpose to be transformed into a bat wings and he can hold hands with bro Condor romancing in flight, I’m batty.
But he’s still so gorgeous a yuma can’t fug the face up too much. This will do as the poor orphan boy causing us tonnes of heart wrenching. Cameraman, if you have a heart: closeups closeups and more closeups, frame the bun entirely out of picture, every frame.
But seriously yuma this is one perfectly constructed period face, SHOW IT!
I think this is Lu WuShuang, who is a teenager apprenticing under Li Mochou and god knows what and who her character is about here dressed in a pastel rainbow. The neck is quite low and I’m reminded of the brothel and fox spirits.
yuma, can’t we just have this?! You are the master of ‘creative’ copying, this is a little known PC game gig, it has all the work done for you and CX can save up buns and bangs time to get some zzzzzz. For CX’s sake, pretty please!
When confronted with how fug Yang Guo’s clothes are yuma ‘joked’ CX’s YG is not playing a rich prince, so he does not have many nice outfits to change into, ie he’ll be dressed in RAGS, ugly used floor RAGS. Yuma, when have you been authentic to any word in the original?! WHY start now?! The fans did the work for you, this is still in character as a young guy not in particularly fancy silks and unadornedly GORGEOUS:
I’m properly reading RoCH. I just need to know if I’m getting senile and is there a leeway for ‘reinterpretation’ for ANY of this happening. These are direct quotes from Louis Cha’s writing and my trans:
The first mention of XLN:
忽聽帷幕外一個嬌柔的聲音說道：“孫婆婆，這孩子哭個不停，幹什麼啊？”楊過抬起頭來，只見一隻白玉般的纖手掀開帷幕，一個少女走了進來。那少女披著一襲薄薄的白色布衣，猶似身在煙中霧裡，看來約莫十六七歲年紀，除一頭黑髮之外，全身雪白，面容秀美絕俗，只肌膚間少了血色，顯得蒼白異常。 All of a sudden a delicate voice is heard behind the curtain, ‘Grandma Sun, what is going on? Why is the child crying nonstop?’ Yang Guo raises his head and sees a graceful hand resembling white marble, lifting up the curtain. A young girl enters the room. The girl is wrapped in a thin layer of white cloth, as if she is encased in mist. She looks 16 or 17, other than her head of black hair, she is entirely white, her face is exceptionally out of this world delicately beautiful, but the color of her skin lack any tone of liveliness, making her remarkably pale.
YG and XLN:
楊過抬起頭來，與她目光相對，只覺這少女清麗秀雅，莫可逼視，神色間卻冰冷淡漠，當真潔若冰雪，卻也是冷若冰雪，實不知她是喜是怒，是愁是樂，竟不自禁地感到恐怖：“這姑娘是水晶做的，還是個雪人兒？到底是人是鬼，還是菩薩仙女？ Yang Guo lifts his head and meets her eye to eye. He can only pay attention to how lithely beautiful and elegant this young lady is, so dazzingly he almost can’t bear to look, but her vibe is frosty and indifferent. She is as guileless as ice and snow, but also as cold as snow and ice. He can not tell if she’s happy or angry, sad or gay. He can not help but be terrified, ‘Is this lady made of crystal? Or is she a snow maiden? Is she human or ghost? Or is she a fairy or an angel?’
Need hugs? Here have the music compilation of all the previous adaptations of RoCH, every one of them leagues above this: