I Did a Twirl For Every Squee

This could have been 8 silly posts if I do not feel exactly like a very beat sloth. zzzzzzzzz

I’m dazzled and stoned by all these exciting upcomings like a Uhura witnessing Kirk/Spock on a daily basis.

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1.  Ma TianYu is the biggest slash magnet*coughBLmanwhorecough*.  Nothing is going to steal the spotlight on him and Li YiFeng in the most anticipated RPG adapted Cfantasyturdforbrainless5yearolds 古剑奇谭 / Gu Jian Qi Tan/ Fantasy of Ancient Sword.  They can make the biggest star of the production YangMi Miss cellophane cameralady in the forefront, that’s something to behold as they are holding each other constantly.

Poor Zheng Shuang was not offered Ma TianYu’s lap to sit on, and she smartly looks the other way:

How cute is this piggyback ride with his other costar William Chan?!  Kdrama OTP approved Cute!

He would make a decent GuGu for RoCH2013 and I am not joking.

2.  Speaking of another GuGu candidate the world could approve:  Fan BingBing  as the White Hair Witch

Have they worked together before?!  I usually stay away from a Huang XiaoMing vehicle so I have no idea.  They look very cute.  Life is fair afterall when you are blessed with HXM’s gorgeous face and sweet disposition of a nice guy apparently, yet you are a hormonal teenager/derp next to any goddess.

The posters are not doing much for me, typical artwork of any 3D wuxia fantasy these days, if you do not care to read a word in print, you would not know this is FBB and HXM.  I did not.

And dayum Huang XiaoMing, why so gorgeous!?  I am still on the fence you can spare me your trademark hamming and obviously these stills (including the FBB’s) from the set of the upcoming movie White Hair Demoness are touched up, but this is good beautiful photoshop I approve.

And it twists my innards whenever I see a decent period wuxia hero do, I go pray, down on my knees yuma could suddenly grow one iota of sense and lift it straight off,  stealing everything down every fucking hair where it should be and put CX in it instead.

3.  Because, *breatheeee*  unless YangGuo is preoccupied/pregnant with a condor baby ready to be popped, what the fork is this:

Lo and behold, ChenXiao can look FUG, head to toe not an inch attractive, I would pick the pedestrian on the right, thank you very much.

GuoJing looks preggie too.  It’s most likely yuma fitted every male character (and XLN at least) with its own body so it can cosplay as some semblance of a dude.  This can so be a sicko pet project out of his reeking crap of a brain.

The following is the only shot of YangGuo I find attractive, somewhat…until I saw that tassle rope possibly holding all the floor rag/uphoistery in construction giving me the hint this is obviously a yuma paying homage to Scarlett O’Hara’s green curtain dress and on functionality, be the sweet boytoy carrying GuGu’s frayed, overtaxed rope bedding and blankies on the road, part-timing as his condor hero outfit.  yeah, when XLN sets up her bed, she has a side of nikkid Guo-er too. Quite ingenious I must say.

4. I actually feel very sorry for Kim KiBum for the first time since he has signed up for ruining another LC classic.  I was almost as ragey with him as DuanYu until Michelle Chen usurped his status of the biggest WTFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFmiscast.  If my guess is right, because that doc dude on the right is in a period getup, this is quite possibly from the set of DemiGods SemiDevils,  and perhaps because he is sucking so bad as DuanYu, they did not tell him his timetravelled redneck bikerchick still loyal with a mohawk from the 80s, in need of seeing a CN doctor/shrink… could be all chopped out on the editing floor.  Hey, I can make a wish.

I am not as ranty with this DGSD remake because it’s doomed and hopeless from the get go unlike RoCH13 when I ignorantly thought yuma can’t screw it up too bad with CX as the most perfectly cast YG ever, so with some expectation, there is the sore, ugly WTF.  I can not make myself posting another pic of Wallace Chung’s Qiao/Xiao Fung.  It is too fug and he has none of that BAMFness to carry such an angsty weighty role.  He has never done a thing for me stroking one note even on my screen and put him in the fugliest clothing line for cuckoo beggars?!  NO thank you.  My love for a DGSD rests solely on XiaoFung and his arc, the only kickass hero of the expansive story, I can take so much crap in others attached if I get a Q/X F I can approve and Wallace is so not cutting it.

5.  See, we have never needed the insanely VAVAVOOM@#$@$^%#$ drop dead gorgeous FBB on the set of her other period movie as one of the four greatest beauty ever Imperial Consort Yang GuiFei as bad:

While never a thespian, FBB is sorely missed in any popcorn period flick and Tsui Hark must have an assembly line of Sky Mountain eunuchs in his slavery churning out nothing but gorgeous brainless senseless frames of beauty for mass consumption, if it stands a chance of luring me (and my hubs) in.  She is the Asian Lizzie Taylor of our gen with just enough technique to not be a Liu YuFei.   When she is next to ANY Alister, she just outshines in sheer dominating gorgeousness whether you like her face or not.

6.  Bouncing back to RoCH13, this is rumored to be the young actress playing Gongsun Lü’e, arguably one of the fangirl favorite in the YangGuo harem from the novel:

When MC’s casting was announced, that is Angelababy, the forerunner for XLN, was out, Ab was rumored to take up a minor role due to her inhuman busy schedule and she would be Gongsun.  I forgot to take note of this pretty girl’s name, but it’s along the same vein of yuma casting every character with the most gorgeous looking peeps he can set his evil eye and claws on, lesser known so he can pay them in the rags he’s going to fug them up for MC’s sake (or so he lies to her).

Just sneaking in a normal pic of MC next to Angelababy and not commenting a single thing:

And more fresh faced young things in YG’s harem of fangirls:

But our Li MoChou seems unscathed, this is truly breathtakingly gorgeous without any trace of yuma’s sidam touch:

And MC, even if you do not own a mirror, you can not miss the vision of your big sis Li on set, even if you may believe in yuma (and CX ha!) harping you are angelicgoddessygorgeous, any girl should have some hair envy of THIS, nah… YOU ARE NOT A WOMAN IF YOU DID NOT HUNT DOWN HER HAIR PERSON AND BRIBE HIM/HER AND DEMAND THIS EXACT SAME HAIR ON YOUR HEAD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  I do not hate you, I don’t, from the bottom of my heart, this hair would make you 50% less fug from the head up and that is a start.

7.  From one beautiful period vision in purple to another:

ShiShi is filming a period movie with CHANG!CHEN! ie my favorite hottest most talented TW actor EVER.  He is my Taiwan O.Joe.   This is barely a glimpse and I’m too lazy to dig more on the movie 绣春刀, but this little pic is so so sooooo enough to get me screaming for an entire minute.   OMGOMGOMGOMOGMOMGGGGGGGGGGGG!  I still think ShiShi would forever be a limited actress no matter how much she could improve unless she has a lightbulb moment, a sudden insatiable want igniting a fire that is not going away a la Song HyeKyo, working against the best actor she has ever worked with to date, Mr CHANGCHEN could be it!  Her role is obviously a vase and minor to the titular trio of hot leading guys.

The story is centered around 3 secret agents in the Ming dynasty, 绣春刀 is the specific type of sword historically used.  王千源 (lovely in 钢的琴/ Piano in the Factory) on the right can hold his own playing the big bro of the three:

李东学 (most famous for dreamboat Prince17 in Zhen Huan Zhuan) plays the baby bro of the 3 Ming musketeers, he is the one I’m worried about being eaten alive by the formidable duo above.

Rounding up the cast:  the always refreshing Ye Qing and the underrated Nie Yuan

ETA:  Hours after I randomly posted about the movie keeping a low profile while filming its official weibo leaks out a ShiShi still:

WOW.  I have not seen SS this assured and quietly confident, holding her own effortlessly.  I can barely recognize her on first glance but I love my actors as chameleons!!!!!!!!!!

8. TVB is striking the iron when it’s hot in ohso typical crass TVB fashion, its own remake of Hanzawa Naoki is shamelessly in the works.  I love the actors in HN, the drama….not as much to look to other way when it is rumored they are in the talks between these two as Hanzawa:

Kevin is the way better actor, but ChiLam can ham and look too darn good to be true in a suit.  Hopefully they would both be on board reprising the Masato x Kagawa bromance!  At least they are both pleasing to the eyes, which is seldom the case with TVB’s leading men these days.  And we can rest assured TVB will do its own hilarious headdesking spin on it this would be unrecognizable from the original.  I just can not pass up a serving of pretty uncles in suits suits suits yelling at each other an inch apart!!!!!

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5 thoughts on “I Did a Twirl For Every Squee

  1. Thanks for all these great updates! 😀
    LOL your Uhura gif and comparison of Kirk/Spock made me cackle 😀

    Fan Bingbing and Huang Xiaoming’s version of Bride with White Hair looks interesting 😀 Both leads look great and look their parts, fitting with the period costumes so beautifully. FBB looks beautiful and elegant in period costume and has the aura of a queen, so I can totally get behind her casting as Yang Guifei! 😀

    Ma Tianyu really suits period costume 🙂

    LOL Li Mochou looks like a goddess next to MC. I’ve been thinking this ever since you and Koala posted pictures of the rest of the ROCH2013 cast, but to see it when they’re in costume now is just WOW. What a difference.

    1. I’m so glad FBB is back to doing what she’s good full time with so many popcorn periods she’s lined up. They do not look earth shattering awesome, but nothing headdesking.

      Ma TianYu is very good too a versatile actor. With time, he could move up the ranks and stop doing all these junks for children.

      What yuma styled and put MC in, not the best prettiest things, BUT they are not as deliberately tragic as CX, it is more her whole physical mismatch for periods that is not making the cut. Li Mochou has better hair, but her outfit is from the same collection on XLN just in purple. I kinda need to see this for a very tiny bit before the puking because the Photoshop guru working for yuma said the PSing was done on VIDEO, these leaked out by yuma are not just a pic or two, but they are retouching the film! ! ! I mean there’s CGIs, there are filters and such but PSing every frame of her face?!?!?????? and we are talking 50+ hrs of film?!?!!?!?? That I have to see!

      1. I find it horrendous that they have to PS an actor/actress’s face so much to the extent of doing it in every shot. It’s a ridiculous amount of unnecessary work and waste of budget. Why not just pick someone who fits the role in the first place?

        But of course, we normal people can’t understand the minds of people like Yuma, since his thinking and actions defy all logic and common sense…

        1. yuma can boast he is this big shot in the industry, but other than making $$$, he can’t have real clout and respect. The talent pool is not what it was, and I will never believe he can choose whomever he wanna to work for him.

          And it is clear in the latest stills of MC, which are normal looking, still no way a XLN, but it’s not going to make children cry for one, he is just playing his usual silly cards of shocking us with the worst, when MC is not actually this impossibly fug but he keeps leaking out the worst of her. When our expectation can’t be lower, a little reprieve seems heavenly.

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