The Pursuit of Happiness Ep 7 Rewatch

This is as good as it gets, is it?   I squeed, I cried and it has been a few months since.  I have forgotten some scenes, on top of blind to the lovely nuances, ie Thank you TPoH, the drama that keeps giving.

Episode 7:  ‘Day 1 of having you besides me.’

I love the balls letting LL reach this Day1 after 6 episodes of WT obsession.  Usually a beautiful, convenient stranger is how easy it is for protags to move on.   No stones are left unturned, LL is moving on after exhausting everything and reaching this clarity herself.   Is it love when not letting go is to hold onto youth and desirability?  Probably not.  How LL put it so eloquently, this maturity, this wisdom has been lacking in portrayal of a lady in her 30s desperate in love.  Being desperate to give a good fight for fleeting happiness does not have to equate to completely losing your mind and self.  Bravo LL!

Every eloquent word LL said, is genuinely emotional, gut-wrenchingly levelheaded.  I suspect this speech has been brewing in her for a while at the very back of her mind and it surfaced after a night of putting it to words, having her alone time, because facing it head-on hurts more and she could not have mustered up the courage if not basking in the constant nudging and brutal honesty of a YiKang.

It is a pity,

I am not the one that prompts you to settle down.

This is the end of it.

You are my best friend forever.

I love Helen very much.

I broke the record of # of WT caps allowed per me.  And no, I did not repost the same screengrab.  This emotionally charged scene is marking quite a divide for the drama:  this is LL’s epiphany, putting an end to WT owning her life as The Only One. I get teary eyed listening to her marvelously brave, poised and graceful eloquence, having the heart to take responsibilities for inconveniencing WT, even apologizing when she really has no need to…with all those perfectly fallen tears and every breathtaking nuance of Sonia, all we get at the other from the actor is the exact same face plus a response of ‘I love Helen very much.’  Get a grip DonJuan, she is not here to beg for your love anymore, fear not.  Say something she can not figure out and thus put it to better words already.  She just feels like she owes you a clean ultimatum, a fessing up and tidying of all her confusions and selfish whims, putting it in a lovely epilogue to this chapter of her life she involved you unwittingly in.   It bothers me a great deal when a Tony (yes Tony causes me a lot of bothering) many feet away, out of focus most of the time is emoting much more empathy and genuine concern for LL to LL’s back than you can ever do even bouncing off all the loveliest emoting of Sonia’s.  What a disservice to an otherwise poignant lovely scene in every way.   *rolling eyes forever*

Thank goodness Tony and Sonia follows up with a mostly wordless exchange of… SO MUCH FEELS.

I am darn sure LL would put up a strong front, holding back the tears, wandering off to Tiffany in one piece, too overwhelmed to feel, if YK was not here, and she is not moved by YK there for her, at the perfect timing and not for the first time.  With YK casting her all these platonic love and concern through his smoulders, she has a safety net and an outlet for her emotions to let her tears flow.  In a way, LL is crying thanks to YK by letting him witnessing her at her most fragile, by allowing him to be by her side at her despair, what he pleaded over the sms last episode.

I remember when I was first watching this scene, I broke my voice screaming HUG!  HOLD HER!  ARGH!!!  I still do for a brief second, but then I am awed speechless.  While LL is having a moment crying her emotions out after being overwhelmed, she is walking towards YK, YK is also taking one solicitous step at a time towards LL.  He is respecting LL’s privacy to never intrude, knowing this is a very vulnerable emotional breakdown of hers she may not care for anyone witnessing, let alone a ‘stranger’ him, on top of the proper guilt of his hurtful words earlier in the day.  Tony conveys to me without a doubt if Sonia’s LL was to reach out for him for a shoulder to lean on, for a chest to bury her head into, he is RIGHT there.  I saw his lumps in throat, his adam’s apple cringing, reining himself from getting overcome by emotions, or the want to hug her when she might not have forgiven him, I see him all eyes on her putting on the helmet. He will dash and hold her in a nanosecond if she is not capable of physically holding her own.  YK is not in romantic love with LL, it is all out of purest intention of concern for her.  Again not that I try to fish for a comparison, WT can keep harping he is LL’s BFF, opps, he never said that, he said LL SHOULD be his bff for life, he can change, but LL can’t, then show me something from his side of the deal for freak sake.

Lets go, lets go for a ride.  Let the wind in our face blow off some steam.

And YK takes the initiative, grabbing LL’s hand, lingering as if giving her a hand-hug, wrapping it around his waist for her safety, knowing LL is too emotional to vie for her own.

All of us watching this show remember how this following scene grabs our hearts and never let go.  I would also say this is exactly the culprit making In A Good Way dull by comparison.  I was watching this episode and giving IAGW a try again and at around ~e3, or 5, there was a motorbike ride of the OTP to a WuBai concert of all things, but ended on such an underwhelming whimper.  This has the opposite effect.

I confessed to (a conscious) Helen yesterday too.

[Just like you.  *hug*]

…You gave me the courage.

After all the emotional loveliest angst of last night when I lost count of the ways YK was perfect (shortlist: looking for LL, sending those sms, finding her, by her side exactly when she needs, scooping her off a ride along the pretty coast for a breather (and obviously seeing a new sunrise together), he still had a whole lot more to offer a friend/comrade he cares very much, just as a friend.

We can start over...

It must take much more, and a long while to move on,

letting go of a relationship of 15 years after the confession.

You are much more braver than I thought.

I can wax poetic forever on how Tony’s YK is always looking at LL in the hottest most sincere love and respect and admiration but not taking it lightly veering into flirtatious.   He will admit his slighting on her tenacity without a hesitation and offer something no sane woman can refuse nor not putting a smile on face:

I will be your (free) handyman next 2 months.

:O~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

OK, I am back, sorta.  Are you!?!?!

Did our perfect YiKang just get more perfect?!

YH:

This morning,

the sun is still the sun.

You are still the same old.

And I do not know why…*pauses, lowering his head, taking in a breath as if for courage*

When the sun is shining on you,

you look…*pausing*

*and nodding* exceptionally pretty.

This is the most beautiful no strings attached, simplest compliment I have ever heard from a man admiring a lady’s beauty.   It is the most earnest poetry without fanfare.  The best kind.  And it is not solely because it is brilliantly written, it is made beyond perfection by Tony Yang, the master of effortless poetic pauses and nuances.   We see his YiKang breaking out a glorious gloating smile at the success of making LL smile and taking in a moment of how this LL, at her most vulnerable, strongest, bravest and smiling is the most beautiful thing to him, blinking in bedazzling.  He himself is basking in the same sun that is adorning LL’s beauty.   He must’ve felt the most wondrous since forever.  He pauses, taking in that moment, with a bit of a hesitation and pondering how to put what is exactly on his mind, as an artist with an eye for beauty, he has to express this moment of beauty in his life and share it with the source that is honoring him this beautiful moment.

*Repeat.  Ad nauseam*

LL takes in his loveliest compliment like the grown poised lady she is, without much faltering but clearly moved.  She gives him a friendly hug back, with concern, asking is he ready to let go of his love for Helen.

And YiKang spins his poetry to another wistful verse.  This is not his exact words.

Basking under the same sun,

enjoying its warmth,

like Helen’s gorgeous smile… I love her smile very much…

it is hard to turn it away,

say no with a smile,

‘thanks but no thanks,’

as if I do not need her, the warmth of a sun, anymore.

She is smiling now for another guy.

I would give her a push in finding her happiness with him,

with a smile.

This is a splendid blessed thing.

YK segued the conversation towards his little cans of plants.  How he would be happy if any of them bloom, without knowing what they are.  These little hopes of happiness come in all surprising, unexpected shapes.   You can label them meticulously, willing the exact one to bloom at a certain period granting you the happiness you want then, but that also breeds disappointments and misunderstandings.  A bloom is a bloom, a drop of happiness not in a way you most wanted is still a beautiful thing we should welcome with a smile, no matter what.

If you are smile and face WT and Helen,

that could be an unexpected happiness in itself.

For the sake of his happiness (成全: help make whole), is a way of love.

The pursuit of happiness is written on the sand.  Over the horizon: (Loving him) for the sake of his happiness, release yourself.

I am still taking notes on  just how unbelievable this guy is capable of: Bringing landlady cold beverage while she is enjoying her tele, putting extra honey in it.  Be observant and inquisitive of her everything, including this weird beauty contraption on her hair (what is this actually?!) then being ridiculously cute when allowed to play with it.

Who is this guy?

LL:  He is the guy whom I have put on my list of possible suitors.

You have a boyfriend?  What are you talking about?!?!

Impromptu visitor, LL’s big sis asking the obvious, and answered by LL with some very interesting ominous cracks.

Call it a girl’s innate 6th sense, shall we.  We know, subconsciously we do all put YK drawing our hearts and kisses at the top of our list of possible suitors.

I thought you would never be able to forget and let go of WT

Because big sister always have the say the darnest things card handy.

Is he good to you?

Bigsis asks LL about YiKang.

1, 2, 3. *SCREAMS*  Hell YES!

We have our favorite bathroom setting a hilarious stage hammering in the point: O. T. P.

Sister of course has to use it when YK is in it and she is led to think he has left the house.   She goes on probing like any sister would on babysis’ romance:  Have they seen each other naked?  Kissed?  Felt the warmth of his breath? His body pressed hard against you?  Lol

Perhaps I am reading too much into LL’s faces reminiscing, but they are not telling me those are not pleasurable memories.  It is more like she is hit in the head how marvelously hot and delicious those moments were in hindsight, against her will.  XDDD

We all love how fetching a glass of water in the morning ends up being a good droolzing at the Quite!Handsome prospective suitor of babysis.

Quite handsome

Indeed.And we are in a new level of intimacy here, we do not see LL getting uneasy and fussing over YK being too intruding and sweet to her fetching her drinks, so close they are she tells him she has to peepee as she leaves the room.  She can use him as a human shield towards all the blind dates her female kin have been rubbing their hands lined up for her.  Here we have YK reading a note Bigsis is addressing to LL and shamelessly eating his half of a ‘sweet lovey dovey breakfast for the lovers’.

Be braver,  he repeats Bigsis words for LL, and clearly he is taking that to heart as well.

YiKang asks LL to choose a little plant can as a gift.  All the symbolism of well-wishing she can face unexpected happiness lying ahead of her (ie a YIKANG!) in whatever form in strides with a smile.

We get a hint they put on a strictly business front at work to be professionals.  LL sneaks in a proper thank you for his help last night, getting her off being fed blind dates by Bigsis.  YK is also shrewdly asking LL to buy him dinner as a thank you.  He said dinner, we can see it as a date.

Then… buy me dinner!

LL takes a raincheck.  She is busy tonight.  YK tells her she owes him one.

I can not remember if she does properly treat YK a fancy dinner later on with their first date?!   Lesigh.  A LL and Helen scene can now tear me up just looking at the caps:

How is it possible not to love Helen, she is even doing what I am expecting and demanding a WT should do for LL.  Clearing out all the awkward and start afresh as deserving friends.  Fresh off learning the fact LL is still in love with WT, she harbors no animosity towards LL which takes LL by surprise.  Instead, she steps into LL’s shoes, realizing how much LL has been tolerant of her owning WT’s heart now, leaving LL no chance.  It takes heart and guts to face LL this sensitive time, apologizing for the pain she has caused unbeknownst to her and thanking LL for her kindness, all in a tight genuine embrace, something a WT is not even able to do properly out of his own initiation.  Not saying LL has a chance without Helen in the picture, which WT stupidly touching on, oops, sorry, I am so very in love with Helen now.  Argh.   It is very sweet and considerate being aware of how hard life for LL must be because of her in so many aspects.  I love Aggie’s crying with much raw honesty, not a care about the pretty.  There are veins showing on her forehead and snot! Bravo!  I will definitely keep an eye on her on top of her lovely singing.

And she has the guts to ask LL if she would continue to be her friend she looks up to.   Coming from such a honest sweet thing all teary eyed, it is impossible to say no.  LL is also moved by Helen and saying wisest warmest things like only a LL can, she answers Helen’s urging:  If you are still willing ( to be my friend.)

D’awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!  :~))) Oh you two awesome ladies!  I want to hug you too!  That warm smile on LL’s face, that soothing pat on Helen’s back.  Priceless.  It must be some comforting consolation to LL WT moves on with someone as loveable as Helen.

LL:  Sorry.

It is impossible to tie this scene up more perfectly.  *sobbing happy tears*

WT bumps into LL’s sister who lost her way.  She gushes out LL no longer needs her matchmaking now that she has a boyfriend.  WT is shocked to find out LL has a boyfriend and the guy is Huang YiKang.   He said he can’t be more delighted for her.  I don’t know.  This is not such a face in my face book.  Argh.  Argharghargharghh.   If you are sharing my headpain watching this WT, my secret is picturing the very pretty head of Roy Qiu in his place.  Too bad RQ is now a leading man busying himself being a RL douche and in nothing but crappy C/TW moderns.

LL has a last minute date with the bffs, JiaYi has a squabble with her husband, suspecting he has a mistress, which we all know has no truth to it.  Time to put her BFFs to use.  They are waiting for LL to finish up her work.  JY vents to Tiffany, who makes it an opportunity to feel up JY if all her lady parts are kept at their prime shape.

Any song prior to the 80s, I will pretend I do not know how to sing.

MUAHAHAHAHAHA! I have said the same darn thing.  I love her so much.

The cheesy burglar arc is cheesy.  But it is nicely done, thanks to the good job of the 3 actresses.  It is still cliched, but without it, the emotional transition would be awkward for LL.  She is keeping her cool, her ship under control, we see her simply smiling much more.  She has a proper fangirlfriend in Helen, and her bffs to go crazy after work.  Yet bubbling just below all the poise, she is still fragile and vulnerable and not as competent an all-rounder as she wanted to be.

At dire times, we can see clearly what is dearest to our hearts.  JY makes up with her hubby with a simple hug, no words needed.  Tiffany even says it out loud she loves him, her boyfriend.   While the other 2 ladies are occupied with their significant others, it sets LL’s wheels churning on what is her utmost regrets, what does she want to do most, who is the person she wants to see if that was her last moments alive.  We can see from her slightly knotted brow it must be the habit of WT sneaking in.

Who is the one I want to see the most?!

At karaoke, Tiffany gives a bff lecture to JY and her husband, they have her to fear if they ever waver with little misunderstandings.

LL is pleasantly surprised with Tiffany hugging her boyfriend desperately.  It must be the first time seeing Tiffany this vulnerable, in love.

LL has a few emotional words to say too:

Guys,  these two women are my most important possessions in life forever and ever. 

I am handing them over to you.

All those flawless pauses, tightening of throat overwhelmed by emotions by Sonia in an otherwise simple old scene with Tiffany giving her warm nudges at her arm as she voice breaks a little…love.  We are not worthy.  I am sobbing.

You have to be happy…

I will try.

You will!  You are an awesome lady of your words.

♪There will be someone, my comfort, who has always been around me.~♪

This is why we love to sing karaoke when we are down, there are always the right song for the mood with lyrics speaking your heart, your wants, all about to come true, right!?!!

JiaYi and Tiffany calls YK for help, LL is too drunk.  Now, this is a bit of a stretch.  There are two gentlemen in their company, I expect someone has a car, and there are taxis they can ride with LL.   There is no need for a YK, unless Tiffany and JiaYi are cutely scheming.  Now, YK is not questioning a thing, willingly dashing to scene, so who am I to fuss, huh?

He did not help a devastated LL putting on her helmet in the beginning of the episode, knowing a conscious LL prides in her independence.  Here he does not hesitate babying her.

WT happens to be in the scene, who never cease to annoy me some more.  Thank goodness there is a YK to keep me sane.  Inebriated, without her inhibition, the person on her mind she wants to see most tonight in flesh, LL utters all her excitement and longing for him.  I would blame it on an incompetent actor, all I see in WT is jealousy with the proof he assumes YK is LL’s boyfriend.  Entitled much, huh?!?!?!?

She wouldn’t be this drunk if nothing happens. 

What’s wrong?!

YOU.

Argh.  Amnesia and being an airhead, or a xxxxhead, are diseases, get some help.  What happened, you DARE ask?!!?!  She broke down to full facials of tears putting her every fragile emotion before you to end her pining over you for 15 odd years, that is what’s happened and wrong that you have to ask, douche!  I think if these lines are not overplayed by the actor on the accusatory, this could come across as purely out of concern for LL, but as is, it is as though he is very frustrated LL is dating someone else and not pining after him forever so swift and he has been kept in the dark by LL she is dating HYK.  But my notes are telling me you did not utter a clue to LL you are dating a Helen, the reason why you are moving back to TW.   Get a grip and get lost, LL is with her besties, and their men, and her own guy you are assuming quite right as her soon bf, there really is no place to show you are suddenly that unnecessarily very concerned.

WT:  I wish you would treat LL better.

YK:  It is none of your business whether or not I am treating LL well.

Take. THAT.

Ahhh, it is sooo awesome to be on TeamYK, huh, World?!

Are you truly happy…

or are you drinking your sorrows away?

He sneaks concerned looks at her through the helmet.

I love his hand on her thigh steadying her, skinship done naturally, seamlessly, logically with just the right touch.  But it is beaten out by tying her to him in a knot with his jacket.  LL is such a cute drunk.  I honestly am dumbfounded how Sonia can pull this off,  she is channeling me some Audrey Hepburn in Roman Holidays with her so happy~.    Her looks have always been the goddess type, none of the girly cutesy, but here, she is effervescing a cute naivete.  It is not overplayed because LL as a cute drunk is not the focal point, the point is she is playing out her most insecure conflicting emotions unfiltered.  I wonder if it is revealing our mature level-headed LL has an inner child she has been inhibiting deep down.  LL is genuinely happy for her besties. It is very hard for Tiffany to have a boyfriend, falling in love.  But why is she feeling a bit down?!  She ponders.

I love how this shot makes LL childlike and vulnerable, fitting into the protective arms of YK snugly.

LL whines her song at karaoke did not come up.  She has to sing it now.  YK is amused at her cute, and lets her.

♪… let us lean in each other’s embrace. ♪

♪That is why we crossed paths.♪

This is my favorite song from the OST from the young talented singersongwriter 吳汶芳:

One should marry a guy who carries tissues around because of a friend in need.  I do not think YK has a habit of always carrying tissues, we would have him handing LL some in the beginning of episode.  And get this, he also cleans up her vomit, a friend’s vomit, playing full respect to the sculpture, a piece of art, true to his vocation.  I do not know who comes up with these insanely perfect little touches, but whomever you are, you are NUTS and please make dramas for life for me.

Of course YK’s awesome does not stop here.  He is getting way ridiculous in awesome.  Let the poor normal guys in the real world get a break, will you?!

YK:  Here, borrow my shoulder.

Actually I can be by myself, I am independent…I am very capable.

You can LL, and you are all the things you said, but then there are moments like tonight when you are sick of being alone, independent, strong and capable and just want a shoulder to lean on.

You are laughing!  You think I am an embarrassment!

Then YK lets his mouth do a massive weaponry:

But I like it, you being a tiny embarrassment, very much.

You are so real,

with no guard.

Your drunken stupor…

is pretty cute.

Staring at these lines, are they amazing?  Not terribly, it is the magic of Tony’s delivery, how he is looking at LL with just the right intensity of attentiveness.  How he manages to convey the words as tiny part cooing LL, more so expressing his honest feelings at the spur of the moment.  And he always find the simplest amazing words doing the job.

This is the first time LL lets herself be flustered.  This is not the first time YK compliments her, she can always stay composed, brushing his words off as nothing more.  Here, with a fraction of her normal inhibition, she allows herself to feel the full impact of what YK’s words can do to a breathing woman:  be dazed, and confused, is this a dream?  Am I THAT drunk?! What is that heat on my cheeks??!?

LL realizes what a drunken fool she has made herself, retribution of her sabotaging WT and Helen.  We know all along LL’s true conviction is never thinking she is doing the right thing.  She is only persuading herself she is doing the necessary to fight for her happiness.  It is still nice to see the guilty conscience taking over.

This is retribution.

YK wonders why she did not give up being aware this is so against her character.  For the first time perhaps, being very honest to herself, LL does not know what she is getting out of the ordeal.  Is it because there is a chance WT still loves her?  She knows it is very remote.   Is it because she can not admit defeat,  to a 20sth year old?  She is no match to begin with as a 34.5 year old, a foot into what her sister put it as ‘the barricade of not being wanted, at all’ as a 35 year old woman.

I am not young anymore, right?

Rhetorical, and YK ceases the day yet again.

 You are the cutest 34.5 year old I have ever set eyes on.

I am serious.

*Damn*

Cooing women you have no interest in, your way with words is put to use on the unsuitable woman, you idiot.

Here I am on the fence.  LL is the one with too much booze in her, running mouth loose but her head is still functioning, her observation above is sound based on the truth as she knows it.  Not a drop is in YK’s system we can assume, and is he ceasing the moment of LL’s stupor to call LL cute, cutest, even his darnest tongue would struggle letting it all out otherwise!?  Or is this a moment YK feels like LL is at her most unguarded, most real, and he should just also let every thought he has on her roll freely without putting it in perception, the perception of which he has feelings for LL that he is not yet aware of?!

But I am not done yet, says YK.

Darn it, YK!  Just suck it in and breathe.  Yes LL is not in her right mind somewhat not reduced to a puddle of goo, returning your loveydoveys, and yes, bad!LL to have called you an idiot, but after a double-whammy of ridiculous swoon, can you just keep your perfect lid shut?!

YK (prompted by LL calling him an idiot, obviously):

You have the worst temper, very difficult to get along with.

Your body….is alright,

but you are not accommodating.

You are (just) a good-looking older girl who has taken good care of herself.

You are missing that bit of disarming allure.

Ouch. OUCHOUCHOUCH.  You can so be an idiot YK.  We can’t wait till you eat every one of those words of smartassery.  LL knows you are betting on her inability to hit you being tipsy, and there is always hope she could not recollect the entire night. Is this a naughty grin on your face?!  Again, I have read enough shoujo manga, and I suspect you do too, that if you poke the cute drunk girl enough, she would hit you and often tumble into your lap and K.I.S.S.

Joking aside, this is my favorite stage of a drama CP.  Feelings are simmering but not yet taken form,  there are slight whiff of it noticeable to the other party but none too aware there is a need to conceptualize what is exactly going on.  Very sweet words slipped YK’s mouth this episode, perhaps he is taken aback how easy it is for him to admire LL’s beauty or unguarded cuteness, that triggers him throwing out a few harsh, frank words just to balance out of awkward.   He has basis for his opinions on LL, she was not at her best behavior towards him, but clearly he meant no menace, they are so at ease with each other,  bickering like an OTP now.

Most of the time, I can do without all the hammering of deep!thoughts! in the graphics of characters, but I love this one:

Sharing.  Loneliness.

Sharing will cut the loneliness in half.