He takes one hand off the box… the other, lingering.
Sometimes, love means letting go when you want to hold on tighter (fr Wicked Lovely)
Sometimes love is that residual will from the rush of palpitations, flutterings, the most pleasurable madness we quantify as ‘in love’…when you are willing to compromise, willing to let things slide, taking a blow of hurt swirling within time and time again. I am not on the same page as HJ YR is fooling him. It is perfectly logical she is in TH’s company when working, unlike claiming you are at a seminar, yet at a mall instead with ARM. But I can commiserate the bitterness just seeing her with that other guy. HJ frustrates me most is not he is cheating, I actually am more inclined he really has no romantic intention towards ARM, but we really have to examine ourselves closer before we judge and accuse the other party. YR did not cross the line ever not keeping things professional, unwavering to TH’s advances. He has crossed the line to YR’s protests time and time again in the name of love, be it protecting YR from his secret he promised his mom, to be the filial son.
YR also is aware how an extra blow to TH’s feelings she is causing, deliberately shoving his grip off and leaning into HJ. Her self-serving move to rid HJ from misunderstanding, is hitting her with guilt.
But all that is occupying TH’s head is worrying about her. Sol the Awesome is regretting taking up the project with his company, YR has been so nervous working with TH. It is lovely TH is taking the blame squarely he is the source of YR’s stress , he is also taking in Sol warning him only Hyung should deal with YR from now on. Because she is Awesome, she must have noticed how TH is so concerned he can not help gazing at their house, she urges TH to drive home safely as well.
It is such immense sensitivity and consideration for YR he is so cautious guarding and protecting her secret of why she passed out, even from Sol.
I am not telling the world I have started misting up this following scene. Worried sick for her, wandering around her front door, losing his marbles. TH is just willing, praying for a word, a text from her she is ok. He must also be wishing, hopelessly he knows, he can see HJ leaving her house, part is that will be his cue she is ok enough NHJ is comfortable leaving her resting…but there must be a whole lot of him being so jealous it hurts NHJ is the one by her side this very moment when TH just wants to hold her tighter in his protection, to be there for her when he had missed the chances 5 years ago.
I did not see this coming from YR (was held captive by Eric in the hospital scene last ep). She saw his breakdown, she was shocked seeing him at his most vulnerable, his most emotional expression of how sorry he is, repenting, mourning her Father’s passing… how much he genuinely loves her. She has taken it all in, still shaken, staring at her couple ring drenched with his dried tears. She knows KTH is writhing, overwhelmed by emotions, how devastatingly he must be worrying about her. It also overwhelms her realizing TH has finally figured out on his own what hurt he has caused her and swoonworthily manned up to it.
She sincerely thanks him, but more urgently she asks him if anything transpired at the hospital she should know of. In her semi-consciousness she must not be trusting what she has heard. She is giving him a chance to pour his feelings to her when she is now too awake. TH denies it, he does not want to stress her prompting anything about her dad perhaps, all he cares is if she is ok. It is eating him alive how worried sick he is and it is breaking my heart (and I love it!)
Nothing. Nothing happened.
What rubs me wrong with HJ is he has a patronizing, controlling streak when unpleasant thoughts are taking over him. Last time when YR crashed into their breakfast ‘date’, she asked for his phone but decided to trust him without checking. Here HJ is grabbing her phone, cutting their conversation off.
HJ properly says thank you to TH but refuses to hand back the phone to YR, hanging up the call as TH is pissed off. Weary is all over YR’s face, both physically with her meltdown and emotionally faced with a very suspicious of cheating HJ who is not giving her a breather to sort out her muddled feelings. She is going along, too worn out to deal with it, fight with him, they have a lot to talk about tomorrow, as he says. If there is a moment I think YR is choosing between the men, and leaning towards TH, perchance a temporary madness she would not admit to calling it, it must be this instant.
In KTH’s opinion of himself this very moment, which is even harsher than many of his critics by now I am sure, the type of guy he is, is a selfish, insensitive, pathetic, deplorable a jerk…everything as she accused him of, he is exactly guilty as charged, he just realized, too late. The other guy is better for her, even he will admit defeat. He should have let go, wished her happiness…’tis love too.
But still he can not give her away to him, not a guy who is better, never a guy worse than him KTH…he can not give her away to any other guy, the very last thing he will ever want to do. He is disgusted with himself but that is his honest desire, even after a hundred reincarnations he would be as pathetic, he says. He is the person hating KTH the most right now. And Eric’s manpain continues to break my heart SO GOOD.
Hyung is still a dream the next morning, bringing him soup for the hangover. TH wants to join him for a meeting with Summer and Pine……even when YR is not attending, especially when YR is not present. TH wants to talk to Sol.
Sneaking out of the house while HJ is busy making breakfast, YR is doing her investigation in his car, gathering evidence supporting her case: He is cheating on her with ARM. HJ lies, even if he went to the seminar, he did not go alone. He made a stop at the mall she saw ARM at…and his GPS is showing he was nowhere near any seminar…ihe was at an orphanage, which is most absurd for a tryst….haha not to Sol, she quips cheaters can make do in a ramen box if they have to.
YR confront’s HJ’s lie of attending a seminar. He is honest about where he went and with whom. Sol is again, always dependable saying the wittiest truest quotables, if they are going to lie to each other, they should never get caught. I disagree with JH they are doing the same thing, it is one thing blatantly fabricating a lie and the other not telling the whole obvious truth. HJ also caught all of them using informal speech with TH, clearly they are very close from what he saw last night, but still they are feigning innocence, Sol and JH not too successfully at it. When probed, HJ is honest he gives a ride to ARM to pick up the boy from the orphanage in GunSan for the surgery because it would pain him putting the little orphan through the hassle and stress traveling the long way with transfers to get free surgery.
HJ is genuinely a nice guy… making YR always the baddie next to him, the gf such a nice guy never knows how to be sensitive to.
This is the bookend of the bar scene TH meeting HJ the first time, where scary, veiled niceties are exchanged between the ahjummas instead of direct sizing up of the boys. YR’s Mom invites herself to join PD ahjusshi for lunch as she is close by, not knowing he is in the company of HJ’s mom. I wonder: don’t parents of a couple seriously dating with the intention of marry meet each other before any wedding plans are hatched?!
YR’s Mom vehemently denies she has any feelings for PD ahjusshi who says out loud he thought HJ’s mom has feelings for him. She denies, HJ’s Mom is smilingly suggesting: Mom and PDahjusshi should move in together! And they tensely laugh everything off.
A big improvement HJ, in being forthright. He tells YR he would talk to his Mother first, he is very concerned about her feelings before he can tell her about his nightmares and AR but he promises it would be very soon. YR is also honest with him she does not believe he is cheating because she knows and trusts he is not that type of person, but the misunderstandings, leading to the fights could break them up, she is scared. And with that and a squeeze of her face, they make up over spilled juice and cute footsies washing the soiled blanket. It actually gets me hopeful for their ship, not that I am boarding it, they could make it work for a very long time. It is hard to be mad at him, or at her if in their shoes. And they both have an easy temper that are very willing to forgive and forget even when they hit a very rough patch, cherishing the sweetness of their comfortable relationship when things have quickly calmed down.
HJ is late for the lunch he promised the boy, who urges AR to call and remind the Doc. As usual I do not have to like it. I think the boy being so insistent is also too much a plot device to ease the burden of AR being aggressive and insufferable every time.
I’m not doing well. My bf went to Gunsan without telling me. Hence he is not able to come to lunch. Understand?! kthxbye,
I kinda want to hit SJ/HJ upside of his head enjoying YR being domineering, controlling, jealous over him showing him how much she cares. Goodness gracious, YR is actually a much better gf than you are giving her credit for. At least imo HYR the gf>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> NHJ as a bf,
Well, my good will towards barfbie lasted a few minutes too long. She tells the nosy cute boy Dr Nam has to be with his gf…and when pokes further she has the galls to snerk his gf is not pretty and not a nice person she has no idea why Dr Nam is dating her. BARFFFFFFFFFFFFFF! Who ask you now?!?! Ok the boy asks you, but can’t you be genuinely nice and sweet as your cliched character construct begs ?!?!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I know sweet Candy is cliche, but Candy should never crossover a badmouthing MeanGirl. Urgh.
Why are you looking at me
all pervie, eyes half closed?! And with My Girl playing in your head?!?!
Sleepy?! Go buy me some coffee
(and the moon) for me!!
-I will buy you anything.
TH was going to talk to Sol, but JH will do conveniently. Hyung is not missing a beat throwing TH the keys to drive away with JH while he can spend time alone with Sol for ‘work’, a cute pine tree in hand he brings as a gift for…little Pine/Sol.
JH asks TH what exactly happened to YR, and if TH has anything to do with it. TH tells him not to be too worried it was a transient panic attack. TH asks JH where YR’s father’s grave is, that is why he needs to talk to either him or Sol.
JH tells TH it is a very sensitive subject. YR never visits Dad’s grave, only her Mom visits it every month. Not even on the anniversary, she is always out of sorts when that day approaches, wandering alone, last year she passed out drunk…they skirt around it, even her Mom never forces her to go. TH asks JH again where is Dad’s grave.
What do you think of me? As a date… or as life partner?
…and JH intrudes, shoving cold drink into Hyung’s hand telling him to cool off.
*slaps* Calm down!
A lovely wordless scene I have the sniffles watching.
JH is warning his youngsis to decline the new venture, reminding YR she should have no dealings with TH after the wine bar…and also Sol should not work on it too for reasons (like director Yoon/hyung)
Speaking of KTH, humanzippershi almost forgets to tell YR he met with him earlier, asking where YR’s dad’s grave is at and he told him. YR is immediately howling at him agitated, her demeanor is day and …night. Sol tries to comfort her, KTH just wants to pay his respect, he was close to YR’s father.
Remembering what he said about never visiting the fishing hole, TH must have pieced the puzzle together as she overheard in her semi-consciousness and now she is on pins and needles. TH knows her most traumatic secret she has kept hidden.
HJ asks his Mom to visit him bright early…he asks her permission to tell YR. He thanks Mom for everything, if not for her love and care, his life would be like AR, and he wants to return a fraction what he has received from Mom to AR. In order to not get YR suspicious, he must tell her.
Mom asks if YR is willing to marry him, hitting HJ where it hurts. The stigma of being an orphan, not being proper suitor material is at play, making HJ hesitant when Mom urges they should give it some more thought.
I hope you won’t tell….
He did not, not even before you are asking him to now, his mind so preoccupied by your every irk he knows you have been keeping Dad’s suicide a secret even to Sol, JH …and HJ. She does not want them to be concerned over nothing.
…concern over nothing? They should know you more than anyone else…why you are hurting, why you have those episodes…
– I am fine with people not knowing everything about me.
There was a person who knew her so well, she must have thought. A guy who should know everything about her, why she was hurting, why she was crying, but he ended up not caring to know when she was in her worst unmentionable pain in her life.
Give them a chance…
It is good news (they will continue their collaboration in a bigger project)..then unexpectedly harsh news hyung has to break. YR is out of the project, the company is solely working with Sol from now on.
Is it something that happened between you that day?! Sol is asking.
AR must be repeating similar words he had said to her, words he must have replayed in his head:
You have me.
I am going to pray for you
I will stay with you.
I have told you, when it is time for you to leave, you can stay with me.
Do well in school….come to Seoul and stay with me.
‘I will never be late again….’
He remembers, the handwritten letter he promised her each month he had forgotten.
YR and Sol are still in the dark of the absurd arrangement, TH has not answered YR’s call the entire day…he is showing up at their workshop just as they are leaving.
^ Hello fangirls, lets meet Mr Tres Handsome.
You are uncomfortable with me.
I…do not want to see you.
JYM should be part of a textbook tutorial how to cry real genuine tears that will make EVERYONE watching her cry, cry exactly like her. T__________________T All she des is looking up and the most perfect tear flees her emotive eyes that are not really doing much…just emoting all the most complicated heartbreaking feels her HYR is hit by.
Your dad is doing well, HYR.
(Do not blame yourself anymore. He is doing well, better than you. I went there to say sorry to him.)
He repeats his apology to her Father as Father was actually saying his death wish. It might as well be the most sincere apology he is finally ready, have the right to say to her consciously, after visiting his grave:
I am sorry I did not keep my promise I would protect you.
I am sorry because if I had stayed with you the day your Father passed away, you would have told me,
the truth about your father’s death.
And it would not torment you as debilitatingly for so long.
I am sorry,..for changing you…this way.
Car accident. YR lied.
I thought you would find out about everything. We have dated for so long.
I don’t know, I just…you have found out about everything at the hospital because…
you are Kang Tae Ha.
He did, that is why he went to Dad’s grave for his own closure and in your place, took the photographs for you so you can have a peace of mind of his beautiful resting place still too traumatizing for you to visit no matter how much you want to, guilt-ridden.
I am sorry.
I found out too late.
I was wandering…and found a place
(in his embrace) a place to stretch out my legs and…rest.
As if he is telling me:
It’s ok to sleep, with a peace of mind,
I do not understand why…he left…without leaving a word behind.
YR relives that day with TH. It was like any morning, her parent were not talking to each other, as usual, and she was nervously stuck in the middle
It was not different than any other day.
Dad planned it ahead, TH knows, from what Dad said to him the day they went fishing. His last words to TH, TH is remembering too vividly these days:
Do not fight with YR
If we got married, let YR have her way no matter what.
Consider YR my very last woman in my life.
I did not keep any of the promises.
We had our problems, but we could have overcome them all.
It is all my fault. You were right, Han YeoReum.
(Dad, I am doing as I promised you.)
I should have told you the truth…but I could not. I was so scared of saying it out loud.
Shouldn’t you give the chance that I missed to Nam Ha Jin at least?
He is the one with you now.
I. CANT. Y U TOO PERFECT!!??I doubt YR has one aota of thought of NHJ last hour and counting!!! T______T
No. This is not a face that is agreeing to what you said. And she is not willing. He is not KTH.
Because you are KTH. She said.
Let’s break up.
Let’s break up properly.
I did not know why we break up, so I could not break up with you.
You hated me this whole time.
While you were hating me, it wasn’t over yet.
Han YeoReum, be well, be happy.
He left the box of memories behind, after fondly reliving every bit of happiness they had, before letting go. Every drop of bliss they had together he has been selfishly safeguarding, stubbornly holding on, owning, but it was never his to have and to hold onto, he was not worthy. He must have assumed every time he opens the box, taking in a snapshot of them as the happy couple, he is replenishing the love even though they are no longer in love. He is letting go, saying a proper farewell, to their memories, to her. He is giving her back the box, 5 years of her life he has tarnished, but the memento of her happy in love were vividly captured, time-capsuled in every picture, every letter. He had meant every word he had written, meant everything he had said to her.
“Love never dies a natural death. It dies because we don’t know how to replenish its source. It dies of blindness and errors and betrayals. It dies of illness and wounds; it dies of weariness, of witherings, of tarnishings.” ―Anaïs Nin
Love lives on…by letting go. YR is falling, in his arms is her peace of mind, her resting place she can kick back and relax no matter how many years in between, how many hurt he caused. He is KTH, the guy who knows everything about her, the only guy she is comfortable with knowing everything about her.
I have never seen a breakup this beautiful, this lovely ever. I have never seen a breaking up, a falling in love, seamlessly entwined like the trees YR told TH about, even a bigger one he has seen, he said will take her to see some day…this day.
Acoustic Collabo/어쿠스틱 콜라보 – 연애의 발견
Remember in philosophy class dissecting what love is, there are several epistemological Greek terms for love: storge, philia, eros and agape. We started off the drama with TH in the eros stage of love, an insatiable yearning, a longing, a desire he has to fulfill for himself. In 8, his love for YR has transcended to philia when he can step into the shoes of others, of YR (even HJ), considering her wants and needs. This episode he has reached agape…where he can let go, his love for her is self-sacrificing, truly wishing for her happiness, her well-being above his own. Give me hope, and lets see if we will get them happily married and have the most literal form of storge/familial love as well!