Salutations! Happy Holidays! I am just posting because this sounds so much more fun than stuff I should be doing and from the bottom of my heart: Merry Christmas…
…or translating for myself, WANT!sleeeeeepppNOW!!! and, that is why I had too much eggnog and mulled wine atvm, which sounds pitiable wine is mauled over. I do not even like eggnog nor cinnamon which is THE spice in everything, wine too yyyy, whyyyy not just add more spirits to spice wine up huh?!
Spicing and stirring things up on my screen, HBO, lets start with whatever the heck you are doing with Zhen Huan Zhuan, I only saw this leaked out fr CCTVnews claiming this would be out in ‘December this year‘, oh hello, this is the month, the tail of it don’t mind me being obvious, this year is the year of 2014.
WTF face courtesy of HuanHuan
We’ve heard of it incessantly in the pipeline, cracking me up, screaming ARE U kidding me, shaking my head no way anyone with a mind would do this: chopping a 76 ep decent, production value respectable, chicklit done way better than source material deserved, Drama of the year sweeping all awards that end of the world, and I loved it, was addicted a rambling idiot watching, warts and all, to a six ep HBO english dubbed miniseries, ‘ingeniously’ titled Empresses of the Palace. whatthe
I almost fall asleep halfway with all that ahhhhhhhing nonsense*straightface*. Butbutbut why is there a grey-haired HuanHuan I have not seen before??!??!?! I am curious…and sick of myself.
Then there is Empress of China out, which by all yardsticks (that count) is a record breaking success. This is what HunanTV is aspiring to sell, pretty period idoldrama junk. And Fan Bingbing, as the ladyboss behind, is giving them 120% what they want in b00bage and obscene gorgeousness I can not deny (ie opposite of yuma’s cheapest fugly aesthetics) and tada! RATINGS. It is perfectly lit for periodfluff, cinematography is superb…for periodfluff, plot is paperthin nothingness, perfect for periodfluff tailormade for the remote controlling damas (and uncles) with the sensory overload, not taxing them further to entertain themselves with snarking the life out of this, less is more: Less silly plot invention in this pure chicklit marysue fanfic, less headdesking and we can focus on the main catch, keep our heads up staring at our screen for the finest fullest nonstop spillage of milkiest bosoms on EVERY female:
I am enticed, I am a b00bie loving dama/ahjumma I’ll fess, I’d rather enjoy lots of these lovely mounds that will distract me always from the at times very plastic faces attached higher up and have the visual of the surgical procedures and blood and pain flashing in my head nonstop let alone the imho plasticFUG always..hence, the netizens are tagging it Legend of ZhenHuan with b00bs. It is a joke, if serious, then delusional, this has no emphasis on writing, there are some decent acting, namely from 张丰毅/Zhang Fengyi as 李世民/Emperor TaiZong of Tang, he is pleasantly surprising me not on his acting alone but how he’s meshing with this milieu, this material (or lack there of), which if he goes all actorly, would look snobbishly out of place (eg Chen JianBing’s Emperor YongZheng in ZHZ) but that is not what FBB is interested in selling. It’s a pity though to fondly recall ZFY used to romance and burn up the screen with an even more unworldly beauty Leslie Cheung 2 decades+ ago. Everything is in its calculated place, doing its job, mise en place, concocting a pleasantly watchable pretty, perfectly spiced up, seasoned with spot on dishdash of this and dat on a nutritionless load of crap. It’s crab season and we have family and friends to gather, mahjong to play and nothing wrong with unwinding the mind with nothing but B00BS and b8tches being b8tchy!!! Seriously it’s impressive to see just how ingenious they thought of every device possible to flaunt us some more volume of bosoms. Not complaining…much.
If I have a serious serious complaint, it is, while the ladies are many leagues above in shallow prettiness because obviously FBB has no inferior complex whatsoever to be out-beautied ever, but the guys are making me very sad superficially. And while we are conglomerating all the prettiest nameless C starlets here as vases, why not this one?!
oopsies I do not know it’s not a very enticing lady, not at all! MUAHAHAHA