Friday Pretty Post: Tony Yang, Hyun Bin and Yuan Hong

Pray, my biases, can you stop clowning around being perfect in crap so I can stop torturing my head being so fangirl happy seeing gorgeous yous…in Crap.

Because gimme a chance, anything, I wanna do this gif wholeheartedly SO BAD pronto!  JiSung, who knows you have me, MEEEE in you!

I have watched and enjoyed ep1 of Kill Me Heal Me because of the awesome of JiSung alone, but I have sworn my eternal SCORN on this writernim, she can FFFFK! with me at the 11th hour and if I succumb and it happens yet again I will eat my own eyes and be done with it.

And please.  Please do not make me batty, perpetually practicing Anne’s duck pout, because I can’t stop and she is too A+wesome to ape.

 

I am watching 千金女贼/ Lady and Liar for Tony Yang (with a dose of Yang Yong on the side).   First episode is a super chore for anyone not a fan of Hawick Lau to watch draggy ‘exposition’ meh of him topless for.  Its target audience, can write own dozens of shoujo dramas let alone carbon copying from a best known classic 伯爵千金/Earl’s daughter we know by memory page for page.   *and psst TongHua got snuffed out plagiarizing in her upcoming 偏偏喜欢你/Destined to Love You just on the synopsis to which she is annoyingly lying through her butt and denying hollering for proof and the snarky fans of manga gave her some deserved flak with pages of the manga she is lifting off*  Nothing needs much explaining when the opening credits has ‘Damsel’,’Wolf’,’Thief’, ‘Seeker’ slammed in our faces the screen before the names of the leads and name of their characters appear.

From the team of LanLingWang, I expected this to irk me so thoroughly, not even trying to attempt authentic to any character/period for one.  It is cheaply thrown together the production value of a TVB 80s manguo series (serious, there are minor sidekicks, dudes, with eyeshadow more severe than dolled up TangYan, so 80s kitsch) , but back then stuff has the backbone of more often a decent script than naught even when flagrantly aping mangas, ensemble of solid acting, and copious of HEART, not here, glossed over with gaudy gratuitous posing, horrible pace and editing, on top of the constant wanton use of headdesky music.  Had to FF and mute through ep1…no Tony Yang.  *sobz*

THEN TONY YANG APPEARS in EP 2 in a rainy flowery wet dream!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

And I shut it.  I do not care about anything, least being grumbling, no.  Do I wanna snap at HL to ex-the-fking-hale and stop extreme posing a la HXM, sure~, if i wanna waste time on anything but Tony!Yang.   He instantaneously convinces me he is this handsome well bred young doctor from a rich family, impossibly tender sweet, sickly romantic….he puts umbrellas on every flower to preserve them from the downpour for a date with heroine for freak’s sake, ridiculously cheesy but my knees weaken because Tony has the power to calm all the WTF! down and effortlessly makes outrageous shoujo shit believable.   That special Tony power includes morphing Tang Yan to be able to play half of an intimate couple in love convincingly with someone other than Wallace H or a current bf instead of being a squeaky walking dead mannequin.

Piling on the angst, dreamboat rich doc is also half brother of ‘hero’ who is nicknamed literally white wolfie, Bai Lang, who is big! ( HL is topless often, showing loads of fanservice muscles, dragging on for ages) and bad! shoots people bad, you know, and also forces damsel to marry him because she is heroine duh…he fatefully saved after she fatefully saved him, wash rinse repeat, or likes her very special trinket much, some love potion magicdust laden ornament she MUST drops at fateful first meeting, which has most potent bastardyhero-owning voodoo.  And our sweetheart doctor Guy2 played by perfect Tony Yang is blind because… lemme try not to spoil, cause it is sooo predictably hilarious.  Great workout of eyerolling out of socket, guys.

Pace and storytelling picks up after ep1, (lets pretend it has nothing to do with Tony’s character making appearance…lol) it gets quite addictive seeing what I’ve read repeatedly on shoujo manga pages since toddler days played out smoothly enough.  And Tony! Yang!  He elevates this so much, he makes TangYan, whom I swear I must stay away till I am lobotomized she crapped on Mosheng in My SunShine which would probably take 3 lifetimes…watchable.   Their romance is surprisingly palpable and swoonworthy solely because of some natural chemistry.  Again, Tony proves it’s a godsend to work with him because he elevates your game large or small.  If you are good like Sonia, you would be GLORIOUS.  If you need to gain back some good will after panned a failed job by the netz like TangYan, nothing can be more timely and perfect to swoon away the funk.  TY can tone wayyyy down, emote a tiny bit of deeper feelings instead of standard moving of head being lowered or limbs, you have to see to believe.  Drawback is they are not the OTP, she WILL fall for the big!bad!rogue!samoyed but what a great nemesis in a Guy2 not just for our angsty schadenfreude to love and hug when he will have his heart broken nine ways to Sunday, but as a deserving scary competitor for the hero.  Let me just get this out and be done with, HL emotes solely by a constipating sour puss pout, he gets the champion of hammy in all asian dramaland shared with Song SeungHun and Huang XiaoMing.  TangTang next to him can do nuance and subtlety, surprisesurprise.  It is nothing out of ordinary Yang Rong is the token not truly brilliant enough to be that scheming ebil best friend+foe Girl2, but she has a special curse on me tolerating, liking her even when she is playing an unhinged b*tch ad nauseam.  I can only hope they surprise me some more, giving her character more room to go nowhere but up for development.

It is less insulting intelligence incongruous than LanLingWang after 4 eps.  The construct is no different from any cracky idolfluff from 10 years ago, dumped on a pseudo manguo period Shanghai shell, laughably tacky.   In a way this is a nostalgic trip rekindling the days when I love watching crappy crack making the most enjoyment out of it.  Masochistic I know, because this sold me a very worthy alternaship off the bat I want to see the impossible: what can a Hawick L do to sway me however little, huh?!   And lets make our a billion bucks angelic doc guy2 Tony turn dark and angsty and more delicious.  MORE.

On token of love, Tony wore the same flowery (Guc ci I heard) ‘yoga’ pants HBinnie wore/ made a day of headlines promoting Lady and Liar.  I hope this is not a bad omen, it’s sad to have a flop like Hyde Jekyll Me as a long awaited comeback or The Crossing in Tony’s case attached on his colorful decade+ movie resume.

I do hope Lady and Liar stays this predictably craptastic, a formula for rating success… at least his effort would be SEEN, recognized and could catapult him to a larger pool of scripts and productions in mainland which he has set his mind to break into. I do not think he is suited for C idolperiods, his features are too chiseled/modern and he would never be considered for any proper historicals nor slice of life serious human drama unless they need a TWnese for the character.  He is not being picky now so I can try my luck he would be cast in a C idolromance adapt of some popular novel because when he brings his award winning movie actor sensibilities to something over the top farcical like Lady and Liar, I see things, beautiful dokidoki sparks out of the turd.  *And bring your bff Joseph Chang along, the visual of you 2 manly hotties with the chops doing a delicious worthy C manguo shoujo in 3 piece suits a la Shanghai Bund obliterating the wasting my screenspace preening peacocks robbing credits for posing, never truly acting, would make my life so much less cranky!*  I am kinda looking forward to see what sparks he and Joe Chen can bring on in the upcoming movie The Queens, where we have a ‘fresh meat factory’ of Tony and JoeCheng and Shawn Dou.  I do like Joe Chen in certain roles, she has more feisty and skills than her typecast of  token damsel marysue allows her to show.

I am not at this point…yet, do not make me drama!  ARGH.

Back to Hyde, Jekyll and Me….lesigh…I really can not figure out one hint what HB sees in this pitiable stale script stalling so stagnantly off gear. I can’t even eat dinner, drink my beeru along watching, bored out of my mind staring at closeups of HBinnie mostly, finneeee looking, smiling like an angel as the alter ego, or still hot as the coldest annoying bastard he’s mastered in the last ep I saw…then tonnes, endless shitload of repeated flashback of the exact boring unimaginative scene once is too much that could only be made interesting if I threw rice I am eating on screen then make heart pattern out of it framing HBinnie’s face for a better use of time.   ENDRANT.

My interest is piqued with another Tony and Shawn Dou’s collaboration, of course.  Shawn had not impress me in things, starting as top of the playing field as it gets being the lead of a Zhang YiMou, but it is BuBuJingXin the movie/ Time to Love (what a lame name) with Tony Yang, hand’s down the most capable actor of all the fine hotties attached to this franchise ever.

This is a side profile of Tony, perhaps as Prince 4 with RX on some ‘Mongolian’ tundra, my guess.

My expectation:  low.  Very.  Even though the trailer is better than I expected with an understated vibe, solid cinematography and a surprising touch of well done whimsy.  This is why:  production company attached is 华视影视出品/HS Media which is sooo unbelievably snotty sounding in every interview I read, they blatantly beat around the bush over nothing, question as simple as which actor is doing what role except the obvious Ivy is RuoXi, is shrugged at, nothing is allowed to be reported WTF.   On whether TongHua is closely attached to the production they keep taichi-ing they will stay authentic but go ahead and scratched most of the 9 princes in contention out of the race nonexistent and saying out loud they would create new character,a ‘knows it all along’, someone close to RuoXi, placing the emphasis on doing a sweeping romance out of the material and all things pointing to the intriguing imperial mindgames would be dumped entirely leaving Prince 4 and 14 behind  (and 9, I read), reducing this to the dime a dozen love triangle with an evil sidekick.  It just does not sit well because you can totally keep a Prince13 doing all that new character is reading like and save us some bromance with 4!  Why destroy the crucial core of the novel the fight for the throne by the NINE princes a 4 word phrase made, btn worthy opponents 4, 8 and go for the little ripple near the end of 4 vs 14?!?!!  Authentic my behind.

What is really giving me a very queasy feeling is this is only the second outing from the production team behind To Our Youth, my vote for the most disappointing, disgusting book to movie adapt in recent years, obscenely overrated money making worthless junk.   Then there is the insert of the magical sparkling merry go round pony that looks like the gaudy logo of the company, very full of it.

I can’t tell whether the unknown actor? (to me) in the middle is the Prince9 who is 27 in rl:

…which age-wise is alright for the roles with I am assuming 31yo Tony as Prince4, and Shawn Duo, who just turned 26 on the set in Dec, as 14 and physically befitting the capable general being the tallest.

That is not the end of me and my sadface.  This HS media is also behind Ordinary World, my most anticipated Loverboy drama appearing in a few weeks.  I could try to be positive, but the novel’s central character is Loverboy’s ShaoPing, which seems to be demoted to a Guy2 or not even weight in every trailer.  I did not bother to double check everything trusting anyone daring an adaptation of that piece of literature and it being backed by CCTV, is not allowed to fail, even if I could not get into it, it would be more me, never the drama not being quality.  Not too sure now, Very bumped I am.   I will now put all my hopes on the drama he’s currently filming, Truth, from the crew that gave me Chinese Style Divorce…and a few more respectable productions under their belt worthy.  I will sour puss pout like a HL

And my Loverboy to the rescue cheering me up as a clown!  This is for his role as the lead in Truth.  Lets be fair, any of your biases able to rock this and ballsy enough to share it with the world (even not by himself)?! AND, *drumroll*….gets random comments of looking like a Takeshi Kaneshiro?!!?! LOL even though I dun see it.

I do not know how he can attract a bunch of nothing but eloquent cutiepies who can sing the cutest adoration.  From a fangirl:

YH is a guy who at first glance seems like a player too slick with words, but trust me, the more you know of him, you will realize he is just a dork, a very bright, intelligent dork…like Ma TianYu.  You may not fall for them madly at first sight, but they have a way to worm you in with their charisma.

His looks lean more towards Southeastern Asians (not a politically incorrect snark in any way shape or form), oozing a mature manliness.  He is imo how a real man should carry himself, shaves himself a crew cut and pwn all the boys in handsomeness.  Also, he has an aura of  trustworthy righteousness, no!?!!  I trust he would dash a few blocks as a passerby to chase back the purse for me if it was ever snatched by a robber on a motorbike, don’t you think?!?!

HAHAHA.  So cute, and what I can visualize him doing exactly.