One-armed Fangirl

One perfectly functioning hand with 5 fingers and lots of down time at (one) hand, still I can’t enjoy full flowing body and soul experience of blogging mindless silly SPAZZ when I am leaking mindlesssillySPAZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ out of my pores.


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Mind is BLOWN

I love Olympics and it’s been the most normal happenstance where I grew up to watch it as a family unit, every event that’s aired, every night and day (it’s summer break).  I don’t rem Winter Olympics being aired as a kid so as a result, I do not have sucha strong emotional bond with it and care for it less.  Afterall snow is a thing great many of the world’s population do not live with while the summer games truly have a feeling of one world united for an event.  It’s been hard to come by to watch it with my parents since I’ve left for college moons and moons ago….and yes, to remind myself, I haven’t watched this event with my entire fam of 4 where most of the world is participating one way or the other since my younger bro was 12.  He’s getting married in WEEKS.  Time, flies.

Because my dreamjob *IF it pays my mortage* is to be a flailing fangirl 24/7. Think of the decibel I’ve been responsible for watching the games with the hot boys/men and super ladies on ma screen. O___O

Then imagine when BTV, the Beijing local cable channel, is doing fangirly gossipy sound bites on Sun Yang’s resemblance on my Loverboy as Yang Kang!  I swear IF I can bottle this weird serendipity pertaining to my fandoms colliding and calling it a superpower of sorts, I can know miles away and get my hands on Bruce Wayne, knowing he’s Christian Bale and Batman before Catwoman at least.

It is fun to be a child again and watch it with my inlaws this time around.  I get to pick what event I wanna catch up and even what language I prefer to watch it in, just the way it was.  I’ve been avoiding NBC (the US broadcaster) like a PLAGUE.  The last straw was tonight, when WE LANDED ON MARRRSSSSS and they r showing some taped event the rest of the world have seen half a day+ ago.   Stupidity is truly without a cure.  I’ve been watching everything mostly on BBC streams, those commentators r the stereotypical wry Brits with their brand of British humor which for some reason never can offend me.  Not saying London did a fantastic job in hosting the games.  It’s so full of silly booboos it’s like watching a daily sitcom.

And speaking of daily sitcom.  I Live in Cheongdam Dong has aired it’s 170th episode, its finale last friday.  My life is at once complete and will forever house a void since the last scene.  IT IS PERFECTION.  So perfect I’m honestly speechless how they managed to do it with the chopping off of 30 eps yet obviously it did make the final product much more perfect rationally without all the fat and trimmings.   I can see that, but I will forever be grumpy and be the silly fanggirl fistbumping DARNIT!!  TPTB U OWE ME 30 EPISODES OF PERFECTION!!! 3-0, half hour each, that is 15 hours….ie almost an ENTIRE KDRAMA!!!! And I can do without the ENTIRE lineup of Kdramas lately and the upcoming new sparkly new shows (frankly nth interests me remotely) to have those 30 eps.

Other than repeating ‘Oh THE PerFECTION!’ ‘AWWWWWWW’ ‘MAGNIFICANT’ ‘LET ME HUG U ALLLLLL!’ ‘I NEED HUGGGZZZ T___T’…I can’t properly write about my feels.  I’m quite sure I can never express properly how much I love this little daily.  The show has left me, but as a fact I know of myself, I WILL rewatch eps of this till the day I draw my last breath.

And what other awesomeness did I watch lately?!  TDKR.  Twice, ‘back to back’  a Fri late show last wkend followed by the 9am Sat showing.  I still can’t stop thinking about it just shakes and resonates with EVERY cell I have, so viscerally I can’t bring myself to nitpick a thing about it, I just feel EVERY emotion the movie, ie Nolan, ie Batman should evoke in me.  Every so often, I can feel the vibration, the loaded, dense, physical memory of sth shaking your inner core, aided by most effective sound throughout the movie, along with the tragedy taking so many lives and we all shouted….life will not be the same again.  It won’t be, but we have to keep calm and carry on.

This is an amazing ‘fan’ vid (it’s done by the professionals behind the CGI visual of Ip Man 1, 2 and Gallants….all breathtakingly good works).  Stop motion.  Mind, is blown:

Fangirly Awards Post

Chinese Media Film Awards have never been under my radar, but this year, in its 12th season, I rabidly loved a handful of critically acclaimed sino-films, so every time my loves get recognitions, big or small, I spazzzzzz. ie, nth is going to stop me picspamming my fav peeps, esp when I just have a handful, all of them glammed up for a dazzling outing!  🙂

List of noms and winners

My fav pic of the night  *drooooollllllllllzzzzzzz*  Best Director and his Muse, our Best Actor.

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Thank you, for passing by my side. -Tang Wei

[My forever girl crush, yesterday, Beijing.]

It was ripples a few days ago in weibosphere and finally the storm of the longwaited premiere of Late Autumn in CN.  They can tell me all they want it takes the nec. time/trouble for a foreign movie to air in CN, but it’s another barely there veil of censorship against Tang Wei.  It still makes me queasy in my stomach w/ the disgust.  Here she is today, graceful in a white cocktail dress that would be otherwise questionable on many actresses, but she fills in more charm than the dress is designed for.   Her usual classy self, my girl crush.
Continue reading “Thank you, for passing by my side. -Tang Wei”


Last night, I walked into my hubs going through Netflix (lovely online streaming thingy) and randomly picking sth to watch based on its suggestions.  30 min later when I checked on him, he’s watching Hunger.  Of course I sat and watched it with him.

I kept prying side glances at him, it’s another 10 min when he furled his eyebrows and looked at me all puzzled.  ’That’s yourFassbender?!?!?!?’  Yup he sat through more than half the movie not recognizing the guy. *proud fangirl moment*  It happens, it’s Fassy.  I didnt recognize him, myself, till about the same time deep into the movie.  Did I say it out loud?!  I was bewildered, thinking, ‘Wow, Fassy must be insanely terrific to blow minds not appearing in a good chunk of the breakthrough movie he’s leading’  Yes, he’s insanely mindblowingly terrific.  And we r stupid, he’s been there all along in the beard, even his grey blue stares r unrecognizable.

I’ve seen 90+% of Fassy’s body of work, so I’m much more educated to objectively conclude Hunger is his best meaty (pun intended) job to date, Shame is right there on that level, but I watched Hunger first and it’s the movie that did me in irreversibly his and Steve McQueen’s fangirl for life.  Shame is the confirmation.  Hunger, the revelation. I’ll be watching BAFTA live for the first time. It’ll have Fassy and Fassy fanboying Oldman and Jon Hamm and all those damn hot Brits preferably all in suits. *sigh* I wished I didnt know it, but now that Tom Hardy said Fassy was the first choice for Ricki, WANTTTTTT! GIMMEEE! Sorry Hardy, sorry TTSS and Oldman (because Fassy will steal the show)

It’s extremely raw and brutal and I watched through my fingers, stomach queasy all the time.  You know Fassy starved himself for the role, but it is torturous painful seeing him as a bag of bones inside a broken fragile layer of thinnest skin and I thought of his mom sitting through the movie seeing her real son in this decay and my heart can’t take it.  And there are mesmerizing visuals of fecal wall installation that is indelible art.  Instead of music to normal ears we have urine, cleaning fluid harmonizing to the coarse bristles rhythmically scratching out the most befitting OST. Its OST should also have the symphony of batons banging on the naked flesh and the transparent shields when it rarely makes misses.  The same harsh bristles we’ve seen scratching red threads on raw skin on the naked prisoners.  There is a scene that seems to go forever of Bobby and Priest that you know you’ll be carrying with you for the longest time with the rest of the movie. McQueen presented sth so honest and true, I feel, esp when it’s based on true story, everything will stick.  I had a hard time eating afterwards with the visual memory of the starved to death man.

Rewatching McQueen’s masterpieces are all sorts of wonderful trauma.  Your senses will be intensified, anticipating everything he’s going to present next.  The anticipation makes it all more searing.  There are times I have to go to happier places yet I can’t get my eyes off screen and my mind is flashing this scene:
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Sound of Music will never be the same

My first musical, Julie Andrews, lovely singing Nuns and children, raindrops and kittens, Captain + Edelweiss made up my very first rabid obsession. I scratched up the VHS tape watching it too many times.  My mom manipulated me to piano lessons saying I could soon play every song in S&M (it's Mr Plummer's invention out of his 'hatred' for being the forever Captain Von Trapp).  I learnt my DoReMis to the song:

 And to this day, I will still play and sing a lousy 'So Long, Farewell' in my imitation of the children's voices by memory when I'm tipsy at family gatherings after a rewatch.

Lets be honest with our Catholic girl kink, when the piano practicing, the HW for Bible Studies was less interesting than chewing cardboard, who didn't persevere with a will of steel because of the aspiration to be a rowdy nun in an Alpine convent so hopefully one day the Sisters will ship you off as governess at a widowed Plummer-lookalike Captain's fancy mansion?!?!  That said, I've never had any remotely crushy thoughts concerning Mr Plummer. He maybe the Freudian origin of my forever falling for the Darcy type, but no, I formed a super fond sacred memory of Sound of Music many years before I was hit by hormones.

To pull myself out of my shameful Fassbender flailing, with Beginners still so very fresh and beautiful in my head, I thought obsessing over Ewan or Mr Plummer will be a way out.   Ewan was quickly ousted, he's just Fassbender's less dangerous, younger looking but older bro and I can't rewatch Trainspotting nor Phantom Menace.  As sick as I am with my grandpa crushes, I cut off at 70 yrs old.  Mr Plummer is a lovely 82 years young!!! Watching the most innocent Sound of Music is so clever of me, right? SURE~~~

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I love this movie from its very first scene, and it gets lovelier and lovelier and lovelier from then on.   What works for me is the talented graphic artist in the director, it's bonus he's also an amazing writer/storyteller.  My brain stores events and memories in a similar fashion and the movie immediately hits me very viscerally with the use of strings of  single images sometimes accompanied by a few spoken words by Ewan to build a scene in an eccentric, effective collage,  I thought the writing and the lines are endearingly exquisite, it may be a bit pretentious 'indie' for some, but not me. It's my favorite original screenplay 2011.

The trailer is spoilerish, but if u like it, u'll love the movie:

It has an insanely lovely Jack Terrier, Arthur, played by Cosmo.  Fresh off Uggie stealing the show for me in The Artist, I had an Uggie screensaver for 3 days but sorry cutie, I've just replaced you!  Mr Plummer never lies, he said in the Newsweek Oscar roundtable they have a better dog. And who hasn't talked to their dogs like Ewan's Oliver, at least when we were little?!

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It never dampens the heavy subject matter with any histrionics,  On paper, Oliver is dealing with overwhelming events, unfortunately/fortunately all bombarding at once, and it's easy to hammer on his woes and manipulate our emotions.  This is not the case, we see the guy dealing with it pragmatically the very best anybody can, actually the way he deals with it is very similar with what I had thought in my mind if facing his demise, yet brimming with all the devastating emotions.   He uses safe comforts and small constants to cope and it's subtly heartbreaking yet positive, delicately putting a large smile on my face while I'm sobbing at the same time. It's not until I read up on the director that I know this is autobiographical.  No wonder every minute of it is done with visible tender loving care, with a script that is putting me in a love-spell.  I think Ewan has a harder role to play facing some similar issues as love and loss as Clooney in Descendants.  Here Ewan illustrated to me the divide between a talented actor and a good charmer on screen.  I'll repeat it any chance I can: if Clooney/the descendants is nominated, Ewan/beginners is SNUBBED!  Argh, don't make me hate George by giving him the award, I still want to enjoy him being a ball of fun as himself.

Last but not least, Plummer is PRECIOUS, give him all the awards:

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Oscars: Fassbender, come claim ur hugzzz and kissessss


I never follow any awards, noms or winners. I've been suddenly slurping up movies like air last few months and rabidly loving a few performances I thought r shoo-in, so I am cheering for Oldman and Fassbender most earnestly.  And as always, when I care, they will just F with me.  I'm happy Oldman gets a nom, but I'll trade his spot for Fassbender, yes, that's how tragic I'm a lost cause.  I honestly am not that impressed with Clooney in Descendents, nor Brad in Moneyball (I don't think I'll rem these 2 movies in another month), let alone in the same chatter as Fassbender/Shame.  I am even more impressed with Albert Brooks+Gosling in Drive compared to those 2 noms. I dunno, I'll out myself as the only member of Team BradClooneyROverratedMeh, I've only loved them in Burn after Reading.  I will go see The Artist this wkend, for my sanity, please be everything as mindblowingly amazing as I'm expecting.

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Fassy, my lurve, don't cry!  I bet the Oscar derps can't handle ALL of your Glory and r in collective penis/hotness/talent envy.  And too aware it's humanly impossible not jumping u, showering u harassing kisses and hugs come Oscar night.  I'll paint myself gold and imitate the stillness of statue as best I can when you cuddle me in your bed instead. 

Honestly I feel so bad for the guy, he's at the peak of his game, talk of the world, awesome jawdropping fearless job, maybe the role of his career, and he's royally snubbed.  I dun know enough of these awards to draw a comparison of how screwed up I feel of this injustice,  I can only jump to denying Brando for StreetCar or DeNiro for Taxi Driver because the fangirl rush that's overcoming me is so alike when I experienced my initial falling.  I fully expect him (and Oldman) not winning, but not even the recognition of a nod?!?! If you can have 9 or 19 noms for best pic (Did the Oscar peeps really sit through the whole of WarHorse!?!), why can't we have 7 or 17 for other categories?!!!! WHY!?!?!?!?

The only bright side is I can skip the telecast and spend those hours much better watching more Fassy/Gosling hotness.


JinLing 13 Chai (aka War of Flowers) and Shame

I know I’ve been dumping a lot of moody funk here lately, looks like it’s not stopping tonight.  I went to a late Shame showing. I’m not sure what’s with me, but I’m only interested in mind and appetite ruining joyless amazing provocations.

I did not get the full blast of the Fassbender fandom until I watched Fish Tank.  I was impressed w/ things I’ve seen him in, Inglorious Basterds, Magneto in X-men and Mr Rochester in Jane Eyre, but I don’t find him too handsome nor too good for any roles.  I didn’t find him that gorgeous in RL, then.  Fish Tank is exactly my thing, acting is seamless, storytelling is unforced, the pace is leisurely, allowing me to ease into that world, the stories of these characters and participate as a true observer. it’s very similar in theme to An Education, just grittier, in the now instead of 60s, in East End/Essex.  Fassbender floored me by his ovaries exploding magnetic physical attractiveness the second he’s on screen.  It’s a toned down, less abrasive entrance echoing that of Marlon Brando in StreetCar. He’s playing an extremely hard to commiserate character towards the end with the brain in dick guy-psychosis that requires castration, yet till the bitter end, I don’t see him as menacing nor deceitful as despicable as he is. His Connor is a very flawed, weasel in a very pleasing exterior, but I still get he is capable of tiny tender loving feelings for people he cares.  I feel the lowest of scumminess having panty-losing hots for his character…still, but his performance is so simple, direct and effortlessly spot on.  He didn’t do much with expressions or any part of his physical body, but his eyes are treasure troves, it’s all there for you to pick out, somehow he delivers everything that’s necessary for us to know about the character so thoroughly at any specific point of the story.  He’s so entirely persuasive with minimal visible effort and that’s very disturbing in the best way watching someone acts.   But then he’s playing an irresistible charmer, art imitates life much.

Shame is a joyless, lingering, profound movie and I really hate the thoughts on the human condition it’s provoked in me.  No, I didn’t go in to witness Fassdong on big screen and ‘extraordinary’ did not cross my mind at all except it is attached to a bigger chunk of flesh usu forming a whole man, but this perfectly-made junk is so devoid of care, dissolute of feeling anything but pain, an unknown traumatizing past he is mentally wrestling to contain, yet overwhelming him raw every waking moment and we audience are kept ignorant fr his entire history and causation.  We’re just presented with the present bout of disfigurement of his mind and loss of control of his body.  I watched a studly piece of flesh overtaken by a mentally debilitating addiction for 90+ minutes, I wondered every second, hinted by the fleeting damaged vulnerability inside his hollow, lifeless yet intense, almost pleading globes how excruciatingly scary it must be for him to keep up the decorum of putting the right clothes and face on, say fewest words as close to a normal man every second in public and not be a totally pathetic piece of trash he sees himself staring back at him.  Sadly, the opposite of panties shattering sexy.  Shame is almost perfect a piece of storytelling of a story unpleasant to sit through. Shame is really the best most befitting word ever to describe what I experienced.  For Fassbender, carrying around that perfect physique, displaying it unadorned, yet still every second convincing me how deplorable shitty it is to be him, in his body, doing his things.  It’s his eyes, there is that desperate intensity that attracts his ‘prey’ and when we are ‘invited’ in, we only find an emptied out, lost soul yearning for help, for feelings, for everything human he’s detached his physical existence from even when he’s doing the most human carnal acts.  He is ROBBED of his GGlobe. Clooney, u owe him wayyyy more than a flattering peen joke.   He is having some nec sex on screen, surprisingly not a lot and tamer than I expected, and though I recently find him extremely hot!Irish attractive even as a pedophile *am extremely guilty of blasphemy and iz whipping myself*, I don’t want that pathetic shell of a man near my vicinity, at times I am ashamed of myself of wishing to not know of the fact people like him is suffering and existing.  I feel just enough sympathy for his Brandon as a victim of a psychological disorder but at the same time I’m as repulsed as the character is of himself.  For the entirety of the movie, I’m sucked into his character’s damaged beyond repair psyche and it’s an ugly stinky demoralizing existence.  Mulligan is as perfect as Fassbender, there are a couple scenes, esp one she’s singing, that’ll stay with me on both the awesomeness that is Mulligan AND Fassbender.   Give them all the awards.

Before I can gather myself to pour out everything on JinLing 13 Chai, I was sitting in my closet, distracting myself playing with cedar balls until my husband was looking for me and told me it’s bedtime.  I was (very early) spring cleaning, in prep for Lunar New Year day Monday.

I am numb, overwhelmed, staring at the goosebumps from the emotions that shot through me, the same feelings watching JinLing 13 Chai/War of Flowers swarmed me once again.  The cedar balls were to be in the tissue-lined box housing my most precious possession,  qipaos handed down to me by my grandma and mother that started this catatonia.

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18 movies I’ve watched since the holidays

Yes, Eighteen(!), mostly due to I've an almost empty drama plate and a long list of movies I finally have time to watch.   I have no idea what got into me, but somehow they can be paired up by my whim:

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